Defining Me

We often see young girls in their teens and describe them as 'trying to figure out who they are.' They are 'testing the waters' of life and discovering who they are apart from Mom or Dad or peers. This hits a lot of girls in their college years as well. As I was thinking about it the other day, I realized that we as women never truly come to a conclusion. We are always seeking to find who we truly are! As a young woman we are seeking to know what kind of woman we will become in life, in marriage what kind of wife, in motherhood what kind of parent...it continues on our whole lives. Who am I?

The mirror does not define me. You may not look like the air-brushed model on the cover of Vogue. You most likely do not even look like you did ten years ago. You most likely don't weigh what you did ten years ago either! And everyone knows that I have a different hairstyle, and color, to fit the season! I have learned, however, that I haven't changed. The girl in the mirror has, but who I am, truly am, is still the same. I'm me. And I am more than an image.

My home does not define me. Ok, you know it is all the rave to post and pin all your greatest triumphs. We all have a "wall" full of great ideas we will never do. We invision our living rooms in the latest colors with antiqued furniture, fragrant blooming flowering plants, handsewn curtains to compliment, and all our fancy handmade wall hangings. In reality, we have Grandma's hand-me down sofa, paint chipped wall that don't match our furniture, walls plastered with photos of our kids, and toys all over the room. We freak when people come over and we haven't had time to shove stuff in closets and vacuum once over! Why? Another lie. Our homes are meant to be places of refuge and loving memories, not a display of your value as a woman.

My activities do not define me. President of this club or that? Soccer coach? 4-H project leader? It leaves me hopping from one place to another, feeling overwhelmed, drained and not as good as I think it sounds. I want others to see what I do for the community and my family, because that is another way I seek to define me. The truth? Anybody can do it. I am not a list of accomplishments.

My husband does not define me. Ok, now we are getting deep. I learned early on in marriage that husbands often make choices the wives would not make. They say things we would not say and share things we would rather not share. They may have friends with those we don't get along with. And sometimes they fail. Their failure is not our failure. I also found that when he talked about hunting and motors that I listened with love, but not interest. Likewise, as I rattled off about my latest novel or some cultural tidbit I had learned while studying, I could see him fade away. It isn't that we don't love one another. It is that we are created differently, to function differently, and blend together beautifully. I must be my own person, not the person I believe he wants me to be, and then I will find that he loves me just as I am!

My children do not define me. This is probably the hardest one to swallow. You know that I spend 99% of my time on them? 90% of my photos in the album of myself are with them? That is what got me thinking on this whole thing to start with. Who am I when I am done raising them?  I spend so much of my time trying to raise my children in the best way possible. Then that moment strikes - they do something childish! As our kids grow, they begin to make friends on their own. They begin to make their own choices and have their own likes and dislikes. They become their own little person. While I had a hand in it, ultimately they will grow to be who God has designed them to be. All the running around and cleaning and disciplining and laundry and schooling and all the things we do as mothers are out of love for them. And then they will leave. As much as we believe, who we are does not hinge on our children. They are a part of our lives that we cherish and adore and pour ourselves into, but each of us has a unique way of mothering and it should not be judged or compared by any other mother. We are not defined in that way!

So, now that I have stripped away  in essence every part of who I believe that I am, then I am left wondering, how do I define me?

"For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." -- Ephesians 2:10

I am a beautiful masterpiece of God. I have been uniquely made with gifts and talents, passions and preferences, quirks and character. He made me who I am so that I could do all those other things - the good works - which He planned for me to do from the beginning. The type of mother, wife, community leader, home-keeper and person that I am from inside to out is all from the outflow of the woman that God created me to be. In my uniqueness I will not be (and should not try to be!) like any other woman. I am me. I am a masterpiece. My Creator defines me.

It's All in the Name

        Do you know the meaning of your name?  Mine means “victorious one.”  When my son was born, we chose his middle name, Judah, specifically because it meant, “praise.”  In the Old Testament it was extremely important the meaning of one’s name.  Many places we see God changing the name of an individual to fit who they were to become or what role they were to play in His story. 

            Do you remember Sarah from the Bible, Abraham's wife? Well, Sarah’s name meant Princess.  This is significant because GOD CHOSE this name for her.  Why did he name her Princess?  To let us know that as His daughters, we are Princesses, no matter who we are.  Galatians 4:7 tells us, “So you are no longer a slave, but a son; and since you are a son, God has made you also an heir,” and 1 John 3:2 says, “now we are children of God.”  If we are children of God, the King of kings, then we too are royalty!

            In His book, Knowing God, J.I. Packer lays out what Sarah’s life demonstrates, “In this world, royal children have to undergo extra training and discipline which other children escape, in order to fit them for their high destiny.  It is the same with the children of the King of kings…It is no part of justifying faith to lose sight of the fact that God, the King, wants his royal children to live lives worthy of their paternity and position.” (222-223). 

            How often do you feel like your life is full of hardships and trials?  Or just the mundane, day after day routine?  Just remember, you are in training!  God is building in you the character that it takes to be a princess!  You need to see the world around you from God’s eyes.  You need to seize every opportunity given you to grow and learn, and to impact the lives of others.  You need to learn to live up to your “paternity and position.” 

            I love what William Wallace says to the princess in BRAVEHEART, “One day you will be a Queen and you must open your eyes.”  My dearest sister in Christ, one day YOU will be a Queen, the heiress of the kingdom of the King of kings, and YOU MUST OPEN YOUR EYES!  There is a world out there that does not want to see you succeed.  There is an enemy waiting to capture you in his evil schemes.  And there are lost children out there needing the touch of their healing Father that only YOU, His daughter, can bring them.  You MUST be aware of these things.  You are a princess, the daughter of a King, now live like one.

I'm That Little Girl

I have been so frustrated this whole week. My Princess has entered into a stage where she moves slower than a sloth to do anything and absolutely nothing can motivate her to accomplish the things she needs to in a day - getting ready in the morning, caring for pets, doing her school work. The lost privileges and consequences have no effect. She simply doesn't care and doesn't understand why she should. I want to pull my hair out in exasperation at trying to get her to realize that she is missing out on so much good stuff in life by draaaaaaaagggging out the work!



Flashback. There was once another little girl just like this - me. I clearly remember being about eight years old, standing on a giant rock in the middle of my grandmother's garden, performing a song at the top of my lungs with the world as my audience. I was free! It was fun! Problem? I was supposed to be weeding the garden. My grandmother had told me that if I pulled the weeds from her flowerbed she would pay me and also take me to the movies that evening. I remember her coming out of the house time and time again to urge me to get the work done...to hurry...to stay focused and motivated. I never understood until now.

I am still that little girl. It has occurred to me that we are all like this in our spiritual walks. God is constantly urging us to do more, make more of ourselves. Our response? We would rather waste time on things that don't matter, wallow in irrelevance and get sidetracked by everything else around us! Chores, status, finances, jobs, relationships, gossip, possessions...the list could go on and on. God doesn't encourage us to push these things aside and focus on His Kingdom because He is just a big meanie! He does it because he knows that if we focus on what is truly important, if we work hard and get "things" done, then there will be rewards! Life will be more exciting and fulfilling! 

Stop dragging your feet and get busy! You've got a life to live!

Remebrance of Sincere Faith

Do you ever wonder what you would be doing if you weren't a mom? Occasionally, I do. It is amazing to me that once a woman of faith takes on motherhood and the raising of her child, all else seems to slip away. We often joke about having "no life," because every last effort in a day is consumed by doing the most to raise those beautiful blessings. And sometimes, if you are like me, you wonder if all that you do is even worth it. Will they even care? Will it make a difference?

The biblical mother and daughter pair Eunice and Lois remind me that it is most definitely worth it. Paul immortalized these two women with one statement in a letter to their grandson/son Timothy:

"I am reminded of your sincere faith, a faith that dwelt first in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice and now, I am sure, dwells in you as well." 2 Timothy 1:5

Sincere faith. We don't know much about Eunice or Lois, but we know a lot about Timothy. Just knowing that these two women were the ones that taught him about God and the Scripture from the time he was a small child (2 Timothy 3:15) is enough for us to know that they were good moms. They did what it took. They raised him with a fear and love of God - a sincere faith. And they did a great job. At least as far as Paul was concerned, all their efforts did make a difference in the character of Timothy and how God was able to use him in the early church.

It's ok to get worn out. That is when we must turn to the God who is our fulfillment, our breath of life. Just remember today that it all matters! Let go of all the things that don't. Feel free to make a mess if it gives a few laughs. Let the laundry pile up on a sunny day. Teach them to fear and love the Lord. Teach them to enjoy the beautiful life around them. Make those memories! Build those relationships so that you may pass on that sincere faith.

Comment: Do you have a Eunice or Lois in your life? Tell us about her!

Speaking Life

When I say the word 'prophecy,' what do you think of? Do future predictions come to mind? Individuals such as Elijah, Isaiah and Ezekiel? That would have been my answer some time ago, however, I have had a sort of thinking shift recently. Those of course are major prophecies, but from what I have been reading, there is something more...I will share, and you decide!

The following passages are those that have made me question my views:

^"14 For those nations, which you shall dispossess, listen to those who practice witchcraft and to diviners, but as for you, the Lord your God has not allowed you to do so.
 ¹⁵ “The Lord your God will raise up for you a prophet like me from among you, from your ^[a]countrymen, you shall listen to him. ¹⁶ This is according to all that you asked of the Lord your God in Horeb on the day of the assembly, saying, ‘Let me not hear again the voice of the Lord my God, let me not see this great fire anymore, or I will die.’ ¹⁷ The Lord said to me, ‘They have ^[b]spoken well. ¹⁸ I will raise up a prophet from among their ^[c]countrymen like you, and I will put My words in his mouth, and he shall speak to them all that I command him." --Deut. 18:14-18

¹⁰ and to another the ^[a]effecting of ^[b]miracles, and to another prophecy, and to another the ^[c]distinguishing of spirits, to another various kinds of tongues, and to another the interpretation of tongues. --1 Corinthians 12:10

If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but do not have love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. ² If I have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge; and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. --1 Corinthians 13:1-2

Pursue love, yet desire earnestly spiritual gifts, but especially that you may prophesy. ² For one who speaks in a tongue does not speak to men but to God; for no one ^[a]understands, but ^[b]in his spirit he speaks mysteries. ³ But one who prophesies speaks to men for edification and exhortation and consolation. ⁴ One who speaks in a tongue edifies himself; but one who prophesies edifies the church. ⁵ Now I wish that you all spoke in tongues, but even more that you would prophesy; and greater is one who prophesies than one who speaks in tongues, unless he interprets, so that the church may receive edifying.
⁶ But now, brethren, if I come to you speaking in tongues, what will I profit you unless I speak to you either by way of revelation or of knowledge or of prophecy or of teaching? --1Corinthians 14:1-6

So then tongues are for a sign, not to those who believe but to unbelievers; but prophecy is for a sign, not to unbelievers but to those who believe. ²³ Therefore if the whole church assembles together and all speak in tongues, and ^[k]ungifted men or unbelievers enter, will they not say that you are mad? ²⁴ But if all prophesy, and an unbeliever or an ^[l]ungifted man enters, he is convicted by all, he is called to account by all; ²⁵ the secrets of his heart are disclosed; and so he will fall on his face and worship God, declaring that God is certainly among you. --1 Corinthians 14:22-25

Is it just me, or do these verses treat prophecy as if it is a regular occurence within the church? Yet these verses remain mysterious to us! Paul clearly tells his readers that he encourages them to prophesy for the edification of the church. Surely, this is not just the future-telling prophecy that we have in the little boxes of our minds.

Testiment, these prophecies often required a type of divination or direct revelation from God. But is that necessary now? Is not discerning the needs in the life of an individual and speaking the Word of God into his/her life situation a type of prophecy? Have you ever been in a situation when you are listening to someone's problem, not sure of the advice to give, but a Scripture comes to mind that you believe will encourage and enlighten them? Is that not prophecy for the edification of the church?

I believe that when we speak God's Word into the lives of his people with the guidance of His Spirit, then we are prophesying. We are letting His people know His Word and Will for them. If it isn't prophecy, it isn't any less important. As God's women, as those who are entrusted with the knowledge of His word, we must use it to impart His love on others. Whether prophesying or not, go forth today and try to speak God's Words into the lives of those around you!

A Journey of Prayer - Drawing Near to God

"The number one personal need of all women surveyed was that they would grow spiritually and have a deep, strong, vital, life-changing, faith-filled walk with God." -Stormie Omartian, The Power of a Praying Woman, 27

As a few of you may know, this week I have begun anew the study on the Power of Prayer. As a guide, I am using Stormie Omartian's book The Power of a Praying Woman. Prayer is the one area in my personal Christian walk that I struggle. It isn't that I don't understand the importance of prayer - I do! It isn't that I don't have the faith in those prayers being answered - I do! And I am great at the "popcorn" prayers, you know, the onces that just pop up throughout your day as you are doing your daily tasks - and that is a good thing! But I lack that quality time, set aside for deep, intimate prayer.

I will be totally honest with you. I think that my great faith in who God is is somewhat the hinderance to my prayers. I believe that he can do anything and do anything and that he will do that which will be according to his plans and purpose. So why should I pray? If I know God can heal that person, and will heal that person if he desires, what does my prayer have to do with it? I know that this thinking is wrong, but that is what I struggle with. What we all need to realize is that prayer is not so much for that person or thing, or for God, as it is for us.

Prayer is our alone time with God. Husbands and Wives need alone time to reconnect, rekindle the flame, share their hearts with one another. Parents and children need alone time to open up, get to know the real person inside, discuss any life situations going on. That is what we need with our God as well! We need time with him to reconnect, rekindle the flame, share our hearts, get to know him better and discuss what is going on in our lives with him. It is about being a woman who knows her God.

So as we begin this prayer journey together, there are a few things we need to do to begin -

Make the commitment to do what it takes. Don't let your busy life keep you from that which will fill you up and sustain you for everything else.

Set aside a time and place. Make your prayer time just like a meeting or outing with any other person. And be there! No excuses!

Spend this first day getting to know God. Learn the different names for God that there is in the Bible and what each of those mean to you. Learn who he is to his people. (Psalms is a good place to start!)

Comment below on what this time of prayer would mean to you? What is your deepest prayer need? What is it that hinders your prayer life?

I am so excited to start this with you! Thank you for joining me!

"Draw near to God and He will draw near to you." --James 4:8

In Pursuit

Every relationship needs a little pursuit - from both sides! Oftentimes we as women assume that it is our husband's job to pursue us. He should buy us dinner, flowers, do the dishes, rub our feet, smell nice, write us letters and give us chocolate in pursuit of our love. Yes, and YES! He should! That is definitely part of it! But that is not all of it. Our husbands' male ego sensors have not been turned off just because we put a ring on his finger!

Men want to know that they are attractive enough for a woman to come on to them. They want to know that there is something about them that will make a woman lure him to her. He wants a woman to pursue him, to take the initiative and do whatever it takes to make him happy and make him want her - because she wants him. Make sure that woman is you.

Let's look at some scripture to back this up. I have been reading through Song of Solomon this week, and here is what I have found - passage, after passage of two lovers who are equally enamoured with one another and equally seeking each other:

He is in pursuit:
My beloved spoke and said to me,“Arise, my darling, my beautiful one, come with me. - Song of Songs 2:10

She is in pursuit:
I belong to my beloved, and his desire is for me.  Come, my beloved, let us go to the countryside, let us spend the night in the villages. - Song of Songs 7:10-11

And these are the tame verses I have pulled out. There is passage after passage of passionate, intense pursuit and longing after one another. (Hey, the Bible can be quite scandalous, if you didn't know!)

What is so beautiful about all of this, beyond the beauty of this love story, is that this is also the love story that God has planned out for us with Him. He pursues us, yes, but passage after passage reveals to us a God who is jealous, who desires for his people to seek after (pursue) him in an intimate way!

“In that day,” declares the Lord, “you will call me ‘my husband’; you will no longer call me ‘my master. - Hosea 2:16

For the Lord your God is a consuming fire, a jealous God. - Deuteronomy 4:24

Today, make the effort to pursue your husband. Pursue each other! And in the center of it all, come together to pursue God with a devouring passion!

So I Married An Imperfect Person!

Anytime a young woman is thinking about marriage, my advice is for her to decide if she can live with him exactly the way he is, because she will never change him. Some may argue that men can change, through prayer and God working in their lives, and this is true, but not a guarantee...and it is the Spirit of God that makes these changes, not a nagging wife! The best way to enter into a marriage is with your eyes wide open and a committed heart to love him and stay with him exactly the way he is!

The truth is none of us is perfect. We all sin and fall short. My dear husband made sure early on in our relationship that I knew all of what he considered his short-comings, so I would "know what I was getting into." The truth is, if I didn't stay with my husband through his mistakes, I would end up alone or with another imperfect person.

This is where forgiveness comes into play. While I was thinking of how I could approach the topic of forgiveness in marriage, I realized that it is somewhat of an obscure philosophy in this generation. We are so used to getting something new when what we have doesn't please us anymore (instant gratification) that the practice has even rolled over into our marriages. When I was a teenager, my pastor would tell me that love is not an emotion; infatuation is an emotion; lust is an emotion; happiness and excitement are emotions. Love is a commitment. You don't stay with your spouse because he makes you feel all giddy inside 24 hours a day (sorry, honey!). You stay with him because you love him and committed to stay with him "through rich or poor, sickness and health, good times and bad." The only way to possibly do that is to learn to forgive his mistakes.

Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you have a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. Colossians 3:13

Think about that. How did the Lord forgive you? Completely. Selflessly. Without thinking of the wrong we had done him, he laid down his life to cover those sins. He replaced our filthiness with his righteousness and he stands before the judgement seat to defend us. How can we possibly every forgive anyone that way? We can start by giving them grace. Allow him to be human and make mistakes without holding it against him for the rest of your lives. Defend his honor. Don't go tell everyone every mistake your husband makes. Pick up where he fails. Come along beside him to help him break those unhealthy patterns instead of being bitter and closing yourself off from him. Give him a clean slate each day. That is how we would forgive our husbands as the Lord forgave us.

This is easier to say than to do, I realize! Selfishness, pride, bitterness, and just plain pain get in the way. I find myself blessed to be married to a man that I can share these feelings with so that he is able to help me forgive him. Not everyone has such open communication with their spouse. But don't forget where emotion and reality cross. Don't mistake unhappiness for a loss of love. Don't drop a commitment to your marriage in exchange for some unrealistic idea that you could be happier elsewhere. The only way to make a marriage work is to forgive and keep on working at it! No healthy marriage worth having doesn't come at a high price of hard work and selfless living. Let's make that commitment together today to love and forgive in our marriages!

(Note: Please understand that I believe there are certain situations where forgiveness and self-preservation are two different things. I do not believe a woman who is being abused or treated unfaithfully needs to stay in that unhealthy situation. If this is your case, this post is not for you and you should seek out help and christian counsel!)

Honeycomb Words

It happens over and over. I say something without thinking about it or at an inappropriate time and I rip a hole in my husband's pride. I know this isn't respectful or honoring or encouraging. At times, when I do it in front of the kids (BIG no-no, mamas!), it is damaging their perception of their father -- and when it gets down to it, it is usually a stupid reason. I am trying to defend my own broken, damaged heart from getting any more hurts. I am trying to protect my children from having wounds from things that wounded me. But the worst of it is that I am assuming that my husband is going to be the one that I must defend against instead of seeing him as my protector and lover. I will tell you that he does nothing to deserve that assumption. That is just a result of me having lived in a broken world.

God asks us to respect our husbands. If we want him to see that respect and honor and rise to that position, we must encourage him! The Bible tells us that our words can go both ways:

The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. --Prov. 12:18

We all know this. We even made up a little rhyme years ago to try to deny the pain that words can cause: Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words will never hurt me! How wrong! Words can cause some of the worst pain of all! They "pierce like swords!" The great thing is, we can also use our words to bring healing. Here is another passage that tells us the potential our words have if we will grab hold of the right way to use our words:

Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones. --Prov. 16:24

I don't know about you, but I would love for someone to say those things about the words that come out of my mouth. Here are some ways that I have found (and need to put to better use!) that help to keep our words sweet honeycombs to our husbands:

1) Pray before you speak! If there is something that is bothering you, don't just pounce on it. Give yourself time to seek God's counsel before you approach your husband.

2) Think about the sound of your words from the outside. Is there any way that what you are saying could be taken as an insult to his authority or manhood? Is there a better, gentler way to say it? Can you make a suggestion without putting down his previous decisions?

3) Timing. Choose a time that is intimate between you and your husband. Don't confront him in front of others, especially not your children. Don't confront him when he is already beaten down and tired.

4) Most importantly - find every opportunity to tell him what a great job he is doing. From earning an income, to playing with the kids, to loading the dishwasher (the wrong way!), to mowing the lawn - all of your praises matter to him! They show him you care and honor him! They show him that his efforts matter to you! So don't hold back those praises today!

Today, let us both strive, dear sister, to guard our words. Let us be women who speak honeycomb words that heal and sweeten the soul of our marriage!

Incorruptible Beauty

The other day my husband asked our daughter if she would rather dress up like a princess or go out and play with her chickens (which she loves).  She pondered a minute. Finally she decided that she would rather dress up like a princess and go out and play with her chickens. Another time her daddy told her to go get dressed to ride the horse with him. She came out wearing a jean skirt. "You can't ride in a skirt," he told her. "But it's a cowgirl skirt," was her logical reply.

I am sure every single one of you remember dressing up like a princess! As a woman, being beautiful is at the core of our desires. John Eldredge writes in his book Wild at Heart:

“There are also three desires I find essential to the woman’s heart, which are not entirely different from a man’s and yet they remain distinctly feminine…every woman longs to be fought for…And her childhood dreams of a knight in shining armor coming to rescue her are not girlish fantasies; they are the core of the feminine heart and the life she knows she was made for…Every woman also wants an adventure to share…caught up into something greater than herself…And finally, every woman wants to have a beauty to unveil.” (19-20)

So, as adults, our endeavors of dressing up like princesses and fairies evolve into putting on makeup, dying and blow drying our hair and shaving our legs. How important is being beautiful to you? How much weight does it hold on how you carry out your day? Let's consider what the apostle Peter tells us:

Do not let your adornment be merely outward - arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel - rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God. --1 Peter 3:3-4

Do you read that? Incorruptible beauty, isn't that what we are all searching for? Peter tells us that it is found in the hidden person of the heart by having a gentle and quiet spirit. Not only that, but God finds it beautiful too! So how do we find this hidden person? How do we have a gentle and quiet spirit? I would suggest that it comes from a woman saturated in the Word of God, from having the peace within that comes from trusting in God for her every worry and care. A woman who always responds a kind word and does not give in to anger easily. A woman who reflects the heart of God. This woman would be beautiful.

Today, let us not worry so much about our hair, makeup, clothes, or jewelry. Instead, let's use that same time spent to cultivate the inner beauty of our hearts.

Loving Fervently

Sometimes I get ideas stuck in my head and I think about them for a long time, evaluating every aspect of them. This happened to me this morning as I did my morning reading. I read such a simple passage from 1 Peter. Typically for my posts I use the New International Version (NIV) Bible, but this morning, I read from the New King James (NKJV) which chooses slightly different wording for this passage than the NIV and it made a difference to me.

Since you have purified your souls in obeying the truth through the Spirit in sincere love of the brethren, love one another fervently with a pure heart, --1 Peter 1:22 (NKJV)

Love one another fervently. Do you hear the strength of that word? The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines fervent as:

1: very hot : glowing

2: exhibiting or marked by great intensity of feeling : zealous <fervent prayers>

Can you honestly say that you love others around you fervently? Outside of your spouse (some of you may even be giggling here), outside of your children. Do you love your neighbor with a very hot love?  Do you love the elders and deacons of your church with a glowing intensity?  Do you love your child's teacher or T-ball coach with a great intensity of feeling?  Do you love that annoying lady that never stops talking or asking for favors with a zealous love? Do you love others fervently?

 

Let's get real here. I snickered as I wrote this. I have very good neighbors, but I am not sure that I would characterize my relationship with them as very hot. Sometimes my feelings toward the leadership in the church is glowing from frustration, but not love! I hardly know my child's t-ball coach. I do not feel zealous about certain people in our congregation (a few faces pop into my conscious!). Bottom line - I do not love everyone with this fervent love. But this is what Christ asks of us! After spending the week in South Dakota on the mission trip, I saw an example of that fervent love.  Our team loved those kids fervently with a pure heart. I saw it in action. I saw it in the sacrifices. I saw it in the drive to continue when all human strength was depleted.

 

My challenge this week for us both, dear sister, is to love others fervently. Open your heart and share your love with the difficult to love. Get to know those around you better. Forgive the minor annoyances easier. Imagine a world where we all loved fervently. We can do it!

De-Stressing!

I have a new project this week. I am attempting to de-stress my lifestyle. How about you? Need a little de-stressing?

I will admit, I am an over-achieving, type A perfectionist. Phew! Glad to get that out! While I enjoy accomplishing things and I enjoy the work I do, I realize that at times I do too much. I think that this "too much" is affecting my health, my relationships, and my overall happiness! In short, my cup is empty and I keep trying to pour out of it! The bad part is, however, that I am this way by my own making. My husband doesn't require it. My kids don't demand it. My ministry would function well without it. The "it" being the stress! I am sure that half of what I do would still get done even if I took a little time to relax.

God does not want a bunch of pack-mule women to serve him through pain and suffering. He says,

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." --Matthew 11:28

and he goes on!

"Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden in light." --Matthew 11:29-30

That sounds nothing like my daily routine! So I began to do a little research on reducing stress in your life. What I found medically completely supported everything found in Scripture (go figure!) So if you, dear sister, like me, need a little de-stressing in you life, join me in trying the following ideas!

Calm Music
Calming music and sounds are supposed to lower one's stress level. Looking back to the life of Saul, this king hired David to come and play music for him then he "would feel better." (1 Samuel 16:23)
I have attempted to play some classical music each day this week while I am doing chores or taking a shower.

Call a Friend
It is proven that when one feels stressed and gives a friend a call, just the thought of sharing the burden with another lowers the level of stress. If we think of this, Proverbs 17:17 has already shown this to us when it says

"A friend loves at all time, and a brother is born for a time of adversity."

Eat Right and Exercise
Well, we all know this one, so I am not going to get into it too much... Do you recall Daniel 1? By eating healthy and as the Lord had instructed, Daniel and his companions were "healthier and better nourished than any of the young men who ate the royal food." (Daniel 1:15) This week I am attempting to get up each morning and do some exercises. I am also cutting back on my caffeine intake (gasp!) and taking daily vitamins!

Meditation and Deep Breaths
Well, while this may bring to mind some Eastern religious mumbo-jumbo, we must not forget that we are supposed to be meditating - on the Word of God! There are passages after passages to remind us of this, but consider the following:

Keep this Book of the Law always on your lips; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful. --Joshua 1:8

Laugh
Remember the Proverbs 31 woman? It says that she can "laugh at the days to come." (Proverbs 31:25).
Laughter is proven to be a huge stress reliever! Remember the old saying "laughter is the best medicine?" There is truth to that! My kids always serve for a good laugh if I just take the time to sit and play a little with them! I also love to watch Psych. Thirty minutes with those quirky guys and I am rolling in laughter! Find what tickles your funny bone and take some time out for it!

Sleep Well
Doctors recommend that adults get 7-8 hours of sleep each night. Those of you with young children laugh at this idea. Think about the following:

In vain you rise early and stay up late, toiling for food to eat - for he grants sleep to those he loves. --Psalm 127:2

Sounds like God values sleep, doesn't it? Make the effort to get a good night's sleep each night.

Purpose
This last one is from me. Don't let the things you do as a result of your life's purpose become your life's purpose. Always remember why you do what you do.

My goal is to implement all of these into my lifestyle. What about you? What can you do this week to de-stress your life a little?

Four Percent

At the Homeschool Convention this weekend I was confronted with a very tragic statistic by one of the session speakers, Israel Wayne. He said that 4% of all Millenials hold to a biblical worldview. I was blown away.

4% Random Statistics from Google

Four percent is 1 out of every 100.
You pay approximately 4% (rounded up) interest for your mortagage payment.
An ideal unemployment rate for a country is between 4% and 6.4%.
4% of US children have allergies.
4% of men are victims of domestic violence.
4% of women feel negative about their normal child delivery.
I know, random, right? There just aren't that many facts that apply to only 4% of the population.

Who are the Millenials?
Millenials are those born between 1980 and 2000.
I am a Millenial.
Alicia Keys, Christina Aguilera, Jessica Simpson, Elijah Wood, Justin Timberlake, Beyonce, the Olson twins, Miley Sirus, Taylor Swift, Justin Bieber, Kristin Stewart, and Brian Williams are all Millenials.
Millenials are also known as Generation Y, Generation Next, the Net Generation and the Echo Boomers.
The millenial generation is generally connected to neoliberalism.

What is a Biblical Worldview?
Basically, if you believe the Bible's principals apply to all areas of your life and you seek to use the Bible as your basis for decision-making, you have a biblical worldview.  Israel Wayne and those he works with have created a wonderful site that explains and expands on the concept of a Biblical Worldview. You can find this information at http://christianworldview.net/.

So, again I tell you: Only 4% of Millenials hold to a Biblical Worldview. This is so sad! I never realized I was such a minority! This statistic raises many thoughts and questions in my mind.

What are your thoughts?

REND

I am in the midst of Spring Cleaning, so cleaning - good, thorough scrubbing - is on my mind. That is why the following verse stood out to me as I read the book of Joel this morning (it's a whole three chapters and worth the read!).

Rend your heart and not your garments. Return to the Lord your God, for He is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love, and he relents from sending calamity. --Joel 2:13

I often think in terms of cleaning my heart, even spring cleaning it, but the use of the word rend speaks to me more than just a simple cleaning. We know that Jesus Christ, by His blood shed on the cross, washes our hearts clean from sin. But what is this rending? I believe it is speaking of the Holy Spirit's sanctification of our lives. It is a deep scrubbing, to the point of tearing, of the heart. Rending. It is the type of cleaning that sometimes hurts. It's the type of cleaning that is necessary if we are to become holy vessels for God's Work. It's the type of cleaning that may require change - change of attitude, change of habit, change of lifestyle.

Are you going through this type of rending of your heart? Praise Him! He is perfecting you! I encourage you today to stay strong through the things in your life that you may be going through and to use them to rend your heart and return you to the Lord your God. And if you have been through these types of trials and are now on the other side, then Joel has a word for you as well!

Has anything like this ever happened in your days or in the days of your ancestors? Tell it to your children, and let your children tell it to their children, and their children to the next generation. --Joel 1:2b-3

Share your story, share your life!

Just Think

If any of you have (or have had) a little boy living in your house, you probably get a pretty good image when I say, "missing the mark." It doesn't matter how many times I gently coax him to "point at the hole at the bottom," when he is in a hurry to get back outside to play, I get left with yet another toilet seat to clean.
The literally meaning of the word "sin" is "missing the mark," as in an archer missing his target with his arrow. It is not an intentional veering from God's word (transgression), but an accidental mistake - one we make without thinking. That is what I want to talk about today - not thinking. Why aren't we using our brains a little bit more? When we make decisions in our lives, why do we not think about what God would think of that decision?

This image was "borrowed" from Facebook :)

We buy an outfit that is totally in style and accentuates our womanly curves wonderfully...without thinking whether or not it is modest or causing a brother in Christ to stumble.



We strive and wear ourselves out to have great, wonderful homes, cars, furniture, clothes...without thinking where else that money could go or how much time we are missing from our families.

We label things as culturally acceptable without seeking out God's heart in the matter.

I could go on and on. I believe that the majority of sin that Christian women stumble into is completely and utterly accidental, missing the mark. I believe that what happens is we get so caught up in our daily lives and culture that we just don't take the time to really think about it. We don't think about God's word and we don't think about the others out there with less priveledged lives than ours. 

How many of you have a favorite movie, show, or book? I bet you can name every character, remember every scene, and possible even recount specific details of the story or background information on the filming or actors. How much time did it take you to acquire that type of information? Do you spend the same amount of time pouring over Scripture, learning every character, every scene, specific details of the story and background information on the text? If not, why not? If you were to put that effort into learning God's Word inside and out, you would be able to learn the Heart of God. I believe that is one of the reasons the books of the Law are in the Old Testament, so that we can learn God's heart for his people, what he desires of us and how he wants us to live. Now the Old Covenant has passed away and we are saved through the blood of Jesus Christ, but that does not mean that God's heart for us has changed at all.

When making choices in our lives we need to consider Scriptures such as:

"You are to be holy to me because I, the Lord, am holy, and I have set you apart from the nations to be my own." --Leviticus 20:26

"Do not bring a detestable thing into your house or you, like it, will be set apart for destruction." --Deuteronomy 7:26

"Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you, before you were born I set you apart." --Jeremiah 1:5

I want to encourage you today to do one simple thing - think. Are your choices holy? Have you allowed any detestable thing into your home? Are you living as one set apart? Dear sister, I ask you to just think.

Gifts Overflowing

When a believer withholds his or her God-given ability, the entire body suffers. --Len Woods, "Myths About Gifts", SmallGroups.com

Besides filling our cup with blessings and refreshing living water, God fills our cups with Spiritual Gifts and Talents and He expects us to let this overflow into our lives as well.  Every single believer has been given a gift. What saddens me, however, is how many people are unaware what their gift is or that they even have one! When they are told to put their gifts to use for God's kingdom they feel frustrated and discouraged because they don't know what it is they are supposed to be doing! Let's face it, we live in a world of business, travel, shopping, and social media. This is not the type of lifestyle that is going to awaken one to his/her spiritual gifts! If we are honest, it starts young! Public school does not create an environment to cultivate individuality and spiritual gifts in our children. It "socializes" them and encourages them to all learn and behave alike - when we are clearly all different. Even our churches today don't do a whole lot. I'm getting real here, sisters! Can spending a maximum of 3-4 hours a week (out of 168 hours - that's less than 2% of our week!!) really develop the necessary tools to discover and develop a spiritual gift? All of this means that it is up to you. You must spend time in God's word and discover how he has made you and then be intentional about seeking ways to use this gift.

Many women don't know what their gift is because they don't see it as a gift. This was me. My gifts are clearly, if you ask anyone, organization and faith. When someone would point this out to me, I would laugh. I thought it was obvious to anyone that these were not spiritual gifts. Yet, as God has led me down the path of life, I have found that those are spiritual gifts. My husband is the opposite of organized, so in his position of Youth Minister he needs my organization. He is great at ministering to the kids and the families and doing all of the up-front of the ministry, but my organizational gifts keep the ministry turning and flowing on a progressive track. When I took a Spiritual Gifts Inventory at our church, my highest was faith. I had to ask a lot of people about this one. What I discovered was that not every believer is "unshakable" in their faith as I thought all believers were. It is true, there is nothing that would cause me to doubt my God. Years of experiencing His faithfulness have only strengthened this faith (see My Story). So how do I use that? I am doing it now! I simply share that faith. I give others the examples of His faithfulness that I have had in my life; I encourage them by His promises in the Scripture; I give them the assurance that they will come out the other side of their valley!

Please know that I am not bragging (only on my incredible God)! I am trying to help you understand that you may have wonderful, useful gifts that you may not be using because you do not see them as gifts! I have a friend that is an encourager. That is her gift. I received an encouraging message from her yesterday! People like my girlfriend bring life and joy to the body of Christ. It fills our cup! When we are encouraged by these gifted individuals, we gain the motivation to continue using our gifts. We all must discover and use our gifts for a healthy Spiritual Body of Christ.

The problem with not using them is, as the quote above reflected, we all suffer.

If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it. Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it. --1 Corinthians 12:26-27

I encourage you today to let God reveal to you your gift. Don't laugh it off or down-size its importance when He does reveal it. Seek out the ways that you can use your gift. Let it overflow into your life!

Who Fills Your Cup?

One of the things that we women must avoid when we are running dry is to expect someone else to fill our cup besides God, namely our husbands. I believe this is one of the top reasons marriages fail today. We expect our men to fill in all of our gaps.
We expect that when we have too much to do, they will automatically think to do the dishes or laundry to help us. We expect that when the kids have worn us out, they will automatically run us a hot bath and settle the kids down to a movie. We expect that when we are feeling insecure they are automatically going to give us inspiring words of encouragement. We expect them to fill us up. It's natural. It's our curse:

Your desire will be for your husband and he will rule over you. Genesis 3:16

A married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world - how she can please her husband. 1 Corinthians 7:34

The reality we find is that when we have too much to do, they come in with mud on their boots, drop their clothes (more!) on the bedroom floor and ask what's for dinner. When the kids have worn us out, they come home and inform us that their favorite team is playing tonight and they don't even notice the kids are in the house! When we are feeling insecure, we find that they have had a hard day and wouldn't notice your new hair style if it were a 1960s bee-hive. Our feeling of emptiness leads to a lack of satisfaction. In a world of instant-gratification, it doesn't take long for women in this state to give up.
This, however, is not marriage. Marriage is being a team with your man. Finding someone who will stand beside you, to build the memories with, to serve God along side. As women we must fight the temptation to expect our husband to fill us, that is God's job.

And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of His glory in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:19

When your cup is running low, spend time in prayer and study. Wake up early or take a time out in the day to spend 15 minutes or more in tune with God. Tell Him how you feel. He will never be too tired, clueless, or non-observant. He will be everything you need.
Then from the overflow of what you find in Christ, you can pour into your marriage. You can encourage your husband and help him to be the man that God would desire him to be. You can work beside him to accomplish great things. He will be a Man of Courage and you his Woman of Virtue!
You can never expect your husband to play the roll only God was meant to fill in your life.

Grace Poured Down, Grace Overflows

One of the blessings with which God continues to Fill My Cup is grace. It pours down on me daily! It pours down on all of us daily!

The grace of our Lord was poured out on me abundantly, along with the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus. - 1 Timothy 1:14

Yesterday I had a bad day. Do you have bad days? All of us have them now and again. On these days, focus on the grace that God has supplied to you. It is not by our actions that we are saved. When we mess up, He is there to pick us up, wipe us off, and fill our cup with grace again.
Whenever God fills us with a blessing, it is our job to let that blessing overflow into our lives. We must allow grace to flow to those around us. I was crabby yesterday. If I were married to a "quitter" then my husband probably would have "quit" yesterday. Thank God, I am not! I am married to a Man of Courage! When I came back, apologized, and asked him to watch a movie with me, he showed me grace. He followed through with what was commanded him:

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. Ephesians 5:25

How did Christ love the church? With grace! Grace unlimited! This is how He asks husbands to love their wives. This is what he asks us women to do with all of those beautiful and flawed individuals in our lives! If we were to show perfect grace in all of our relationships, there would be no divorce, no broken homes, no damaged friendships. The only way to survive being the imperfect people that we are, is to live by grace. So, dear sister, be full of grace today!

Women of Virtue

"It is easier to serve God or work for God without a vision and without a call, because then you are not bothered by what He requires." -Oswald Chambers, My utmost for His highest, March 4

I was struck by this quote this morning and how easy it is for us to sit in our church, pass the plate, read a meditation from a booklet, roll up the tablecloths after fellowship dinner, and believe that we are living a life of service to Christ. This quote questions this! You can't do what it is you think you should be doing to serve God. You must do what He wants you to do to serve Him. Are you listening intently to His call and becoming the woman He desires you to be?
Last night at our church we watched the movie Courageous. Of course, I cried through the entire movie. I was inspired by the men in the film stepping up into the roles that God had laid out for them. This is a great film to encourage men to be good fathers and husbands. Yet there was something else that caught my attention in the film - the women. Not one of them balked at the idea of the resolution their men were making. Not one of them tried to push their way through to lead the household their way. Not one of them was discouraging or nagging, and when one did react in a slightly negative way, she immediately apologized. The only way for the men in our society, congregations, and homes to rise up to be men of courage, is if we rise up to be women of virtue. Read the following passage:

Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.
She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. - Proverbs 31:11-12

Are you that type of woman? Are you the type that equips her husband to be a godly man? The type that encourages him when he steps up into the role of responsibility within the home? The type that brings him good, not harm? I aspire to be that woman! I encourage you to do the same! Our world needs men of courage...and they need women of virtue!