Defining Me

We often see young girls in their teens and describe them as 'trying to figure out who they are.' They are 'testing the waters' of life and discovering who they are apart from Mom or Dad or peers. This hits a lot of girls in their college years as well. As I was thinking about it the other day, I realized that we as women never truly come to a conclusion. We are always seeking to find who we truly are! As a young woman we are seeking to know what kind of woman we will become in life, in marriage what kind of wife, in motherhood what kind of parent...it continues on our whole lives. Who am I?

The mirror does not define me. You may not look like the air-brushed model on the cover of Vogue. You most likely do not even look like you did ten years ago. You most likely don't weigh what you did ten years ago either! And everyone knows that I have a different hairstyle, and color, to fit the season! I have learned, however, that I haven't changed. The girl in the mirror has, but who I am, truly am, is still the same. I'm me. And I am more than an image.

My home does not define me. Ok, you know it is all the rave to post and pin all your greatest triumphs. We all have a "wall" full of great ideas we will never do. We invision our living rooms in the latest colors with antiqued furniture, fragrant blooming flowering plants, handsewn curtains to compliment, and all our fancy handmade wall hangings. In reality, we have Grandma's hand-me down sofa, paint chipped wall that don't match our furniture, walls plastered with photos of our kids, and toys all over the room. We freak when people come over and we haven't had time to shove stuff in closets and vacuum once over! Why? Another lie. Our homes are meant to be places of refuge and loving memories, not a display of your value as a woman.

My activities do not define me. President of this club or that? Soccer coach? 4-H project leader? It leaves me hopping from one place to another, feeling overwhelmed, drained and not as good as I think it sounds. I want others to see what I do for the community and my family, because that is another way I seek to define me. The truth? Anybody can do it. I am not a list of accomplishments.

My husband does not define me. Ok, now we are getting deep. I learned early on in marriage that husbands often make choices the wives would not make. They say things we would not say and share things we would rather not share. They may have friends with those we don't get along with. And sometimes they fail. Their failure is not our failure. I also found that when he talked about hunting and motors that I listened with love, but not interest. Likewise, as I rattled off about my latest novel or some cultural tidbit I had learned while studying, I could see him fade away. It isn't that we don't love one another. It is that we are created differently, to function differently, and blend together beautifully. I must be my own person, not the person I believe he wants me to be, and then I will find that he loves me just as I am!

My children do not define me. This is probably the hardest one to swallow. You know that I spend 99% of my time on them? 90% of my photos in the album of myself are with them? That is what got me thinking on this whole thing to start with. Who am I when I am done raising them?  I spend so much of my time trying to raise my children in the best way possible. Then that moment strikes - they do something childish! As our kids grow, they begin to make friends on their own. They begin to make their own choices and have their own likes and dislikes. They become their own little person. While I had a hand in it, ultimately they will grow to be who God has designed them to be. All the running around and cleaning and disciplining and laundry and schooling and all the things we do as mothers are out of love for them. And then they will leave. As much as we believe, who we are does not hinge on our children. They are a part of our lives that we cherish and adore and pour ourselves into, but each of us has a unique way of mothering and it should not be judged or compared by any other mother. We are not defined in that way!

So, now that I have stripped away  in essence every part of who I believe that I am, then I am left wondering, how do I define me?

"For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." -- Ephesians 2:10

I am a beautiful masterpiece of God. I have been uniquely made with gifts and talents, passions and preferences, quirks and character. He made me who I am so that I could do all those other things - the good works - which He planned for me to do from the beginning. The type of mother, wife, community leader, home-keeper and person that I am from inside to out is all from the outflow of the woman that God created me to be. In my uniqueness I will not be (and should not try to be!) like any other woman. I am me. I am a masterpiece. My Creator defines me.

You Are Just Right

I don't know about you, but I constantly battle with feeling not good enough for my family. I want to be more. I want to be better. I want to be that mom that my kids remember from their childhood and smile about. Or want to be like me, to follow my lead.

My mom was not perfect. Not even close. And in many ways she did a much better job than I do. What is ironic is that it isn't those mess-ups or those super-mom accomplishments that I look back on so fondly. I remember mostly her character. I remember never feeling unloved. I remember her giving her all for us all the time. I remember the fun times we shared playing board games, camping, or doing family holiday traditions. I remember when she would make treasure hunts for me while she cleaned the house. I remember her making some of my favorite foods, and her teaching me to make them too. And most of the "bad" things I remember, I recall them being my fault. My mom is my hero. She is my best friends still. She is the type of mom that I strive to be. She was just right for me.

You are just right for your child, for your husband, for your family. I am just right for mine. See, God in his infinite wisdom has molded you and gifted you to be everything that they need! You will mess up. You will succeed. You will have "failure mom" days and you will have "Super-mom" days. But what you do in between and through both of those, the character you display, the love you express, that is what your kids will look back on with a smile; that is who your kids will want to grow up to be like.

Think about what you want them to see, day in and day out, high and low, in a mom...then be that mom. You are just right for the job.

The Guilt of a Dreamer

My "dream list" includes spending time on every continent, gliding down the Amazon River to spend days lost in the treacherous jungles, translating the Bible for a people who have never held the Gospel in their hands before, packing up and leaving all of my troubles and struggles behind, growing old with my husband on a beach watching the sunset, and looking like Nicole Kidman when I am her age!

Those are just a few of the things I would love to do with my life. I find, however, that when I begin to dream these, or even less harmful dreams like a romantic get-away, a new outfit, or remodeling my bathroom, I begin to feel guilty.
As moms, I believe we become too accustomed to being the "nobody" of the house. Sure, we all encourage our obsessive behavior by telling each other that our homes cannot function without us...but in the process we lose who we are. It becomes a joke and laughing matter because we are lost as to what to do about it.  Our kids' and our husband's well-being come before our own. They get clothes before we do. School supplies come before our novel reading list. Their food tastes take precedence over our own. How they choose to spend free time becomes what we do. Their schedules become our schedules. We push ourselves out of fear of becoming that mom who neglects her children and puts herself and her selfish desires before that of the care of her family. We will not be that woman!

After time of living with this mind-set, we can lose sight of who we are - our passions, our dreams, our simple pleasures. When we begin to dream, our logic screams at us, "what about the kids!? How would that affect them?! That's selfish!" And then we feel guilty for ever dreaming at all.

I am writing this today because I think this is wrong. I think that God has created us with adventure and dreams in our hearts! I believe that we should be willing to take a look and see what else is out there, what more life can have in store for us! Give a little more room for yourself sometimes. You spend all of your time and extra money on your children - get yourself a gift sometimes! Plan a night out for yourself or you and your spouse! Don't be afraid to be a woman with her own dreams and desires. This doesn't necessarily mean packing up and heading out to some remote island (though it might!) but it may include breaking the unhealthy walls of the rooms we have built ourselves into. What we might find is that our marriages are strengthened because we return to being the woman our husbands married. We may make our children proud of our accomplishments and give them inspiration to reach their own goals and dreams. You may find fulfillment and pleasure in your life that you had given up hope of ever having.

Dream big!

You Will Never Be Good Enough

Yep, you read that right. You will never be good enough. Now hold on before you click to some other link that is more upbeat and cheery. This really is a pep-talk!

I have always been that girl that has to do everything right. I actually get very upset if I don't accomplish what I wanted to. It was great when I was younger going through school. It got me good grades. It kept me from making stupid decisions (most of the time). You get the picture. However, as a mom, it has not been a great quality to have. Of course we should always strive to do our best, but my problem was that if I didn't have all the items on my to-do list checked off, if my house wasn't up to "par," if my kids were having "one of those days," even if I were sick and didn't get my ducks in a row...I felt like I had failed. I was a failure as a mom. I was a failure as a wife. I was just a failure.

Well, in a way, the Bible says that is true. Let's explore:

Isaiah 64:6 says, "For all of us have become like one who is unclean, And all our righteous deeds are like a filthy garment;"

Ephesians 2:8-9 says, "For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God; not as a result of works, so that no one may boast."

We can never be good enough! There are never enough good things that we can do to make all of our mistakes "ok." We can never serve enough or give enough to pay the price for our wrong choices. That is why God sent His Son.

This isn't a bad thing! It's grace! It is freeing! What this tells me is that I can stop striving! I can stop trying to be perfect. I can stop trying to be the perfect mom. I will never be. I can stop trying to be the perfect wife. I will never be. But, that doesn't make me a failure. It makes me beautiful. Yes, because Jesus blood has cleansed me and I am now in right relationship with God. With His Spirit in me, guiding me and sanctifying me, I am perfect. The way that I am now seen is not based on what I have accomplished, but on what He has accomplished for me. I can live a life without the burden of checking things off the list and focus on loving others and sharing this message of grace with everyone that I can.

Now, that is a pep-talk!

After a Time of Absence...

I know that it has been a long time since I have written a blog post...there's good reason! This past summer our family was blessed with a new home. It is a gorgeous old home from 1901, which I love! It has come, however, with the additional package of needing lots of TLC! So, between moving a family with young children, trying to maintain a "semi-normal" lifestyle of work and play, and starting another school year (in a new place!), and being married to the youth pastor (speaks for itself, right?), I haven't had much time for the extras. Along the way, however, I have learned many heart lessons, overcome many frustrations, gotten in too deep into projects and have come out with lots that I would love to share with you. So I decided to pick up my technological pen and paper and begin to write once again...

 



a time to tear down and a time to build...(Ecclesiastes 3:3)

 

 

This old barn is on the property where we have moved. As cool as it is, it is completely unstable and the insurance companies have all but demanded that it come down.  So today we decided to begin the painstaking process of tearing it apart (saving wood and lumber for this and that). Included in this process however, was the task of building a temporary shelter for our sheep, who are due to lamb next week! Using the materials we were tearing off of the old barn, we were at the same time using them to build, and setting aside other pieces to build in the future!

As I began thinking about this process, I realized that this is exactly what God does with our lives. It certainly sums up what He has done with my life this past 6 months! We often come to a point in our lives when we know it is time to tear down. There are things that just gotta go. I find it difficult when I am at this point to determine which things need to be "torn down." It is a task of prioritizing and can also be painful when you finally figure out which things need to go.

Once we have made it through this time of tearing down, God then begins to use those pieces of our broken lives to build again. Whether it is leaving a home to start anew in another home, getting a new job, terminating unhealthy relationships and building new ones, tearing down walls and buildings to make new, sturdier ones, (the list goes on and on and on!)...we then begin to build again.

So what I have learned that I would like to pass on to you today is this, do not be afraid to "tear down" because it is only then that you can build again. And our God is notorious for rebuilding things much better than they were before!

 

 

 



Reset

Have you ever had your computer freeze up on you? There is just too much going on in its intricate little brain, too many uploads, too much information, too many commands. My husband is notorious for losing work he's spent hours on because he forgets to "save as you go!" The worst for me is when I am in the middle of watching a movie (we do online tv/movies) and right when you are about to figure it all out - freeze.  I believe that we all learned early on those magic key-strokes (ctrl+alt+delete). Now the world of technology has a "refresh" button!

I believe that sometimes our lives are just like our overloaded computers. There is just too much going on inside our brains that we are responsible for. There are experiences changing us and teaching us. There are too many things that we must remember (shopping lists, bills due, children's extra-curriculars, laundry, dishes, church events, call your mother, feed the animals, did you feed the kids today?). And there are just too many demands! On just Monday I schooled my children, cleaned my house, took my daughter to her bread-making class, coached a soccer practice, rushed back over for a 4-H meeting, then made it home just in time to bathe the kids, read them their story, put them in bed, grab some food and ask my husband how his volleyball tournament went (they won 1st place!).

Freeze. Do you remember that verse from Psalm 46:10?
"He says, “Be still, and know that I am God;"
I will tell it to you straight - we can not live our lives at top speed like this if we want to continue to have joy, purpose and fulfillment. We will kill ourselves. Our lives and the impact we have on others is a direct overflow from what is within us. If we have tapped into our reserve tanks and run them dry as well, we are in a bad position.  Last week we took our Easter break. I committed to do nothing that was not absolutely necessary. I laid around and watched movies with my kids. We had a week-long Monopoly game going. We ate...a lot. I read a book. I breathed.
Is it time for you, dear friend, to freeze for a little while?

Ctrl+Alt+Delete.
In Jeremiah 31:25 our Lord reminds us that,
"I will refresh the weary and satisfy the faint.”
I think that often times we get carried away with all our comings and goings. It is important that each of us take a time out and reset. On my wonderful Easter break, after I began to breathe again, I then began to think again.  I thought about my family and my children. I realized I had let a lot of the simple, but important things slip through the cracks while focused on the less important "pressing" things. I recommitted. Think about the things you do, why you do them, and what may be missing.
Here are a few things that I think you should consider when you reset:
Purpose - don't do anything unless there is a purpose. If the purpose doesn't fit what you want for your life, for your children, or for your ministry, then don't waste your time on it! (this would also be a good idea for you to think about what your purpose is for your life and your family)
Family driven - your children grow so fast. Make sure that the things you do now cultivate your family being united. Do things together!
Fill Your Own Cup - make sure that you include time for yourself occasionally. Make sure that this time is fulfilling to you, not a time where you are still giving. Have a ladies night out, go to a retreat, spend time at a book store with a hot chai latte (my favorite!). Fill your own spirit!
Cultivate Your Marriage - make sure that everything you do is working toward a common vision between you and your spouse. Make sure to spend time alone with your spouse. Make sure that you regularly have energy at the end of the day to devote to intimacy. Take time outs to do special things to remind them that you love them!
Good Isn't Always Best - The hardest part for me is to weed out the unnecessary when everything is "good." Sometimes something doesn't have to be "bad" in order to cut it out. It just may not be the "best" thing in your life right now.

Don't miss out on the beauty, the charm, the blessings of your life because you are too busy running through life. You know that old idiom "Stop and smell the roses." There is beauty flowing from everything around us, but we must take the time to see it.  Now, go ahead and hit that refresh button in your life!

12 Days of Christmas Traditions I Love: Day 8 Holiday Baking

This morning I realized that I have had to really clean my kitchen every day this week! Why? From all the baking! It is time consuming, sometimes hard, but oh, so fun and delicious! What is better than holiday baked meals?? Nothing!

 

With all of the parties for church, the kids, meals for others, Christmas gifts and just our own holiday meals, I have baked so many things I can't even remember! Most of the things I make you can find on Pinterest. You can find the recipe to my favorite meal, homemade chicken pot pie, here. I only made SIX of these babies this week!

 

 

 

Holidays are the only time I seem to be able to splurge and make lots of fancy foods for my family. Go all out! It is so much fun. And as for those pounds...well, you need a New Year's resolution, right?

12 Days of Christmas Christmas Traditions I Love: Day 5 Family Christmas Movies

What else do you do when it's cold outside and getting dark early and you are anxiously awaiting Christmas? Watch Christmas movies! We love to make a night of watching our favorite Christmas movies. We even like to have themed parties around these great movies as well! (see How To Have a Successful Grinch Party) 

Necessary items for your Christmas movie night: a special snack or dinner, hot chocolate, snuggly blankets, pillows, Christmas lights!

Here is our list of our top 5 favorite Christmas movies:
Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer
It's a Wonderful Life
Frosty the Snowman
How the Grinch Stole Christmas
Miracle on 34th Street

Snuggle up, and have a blast!

Note: For those of you who have been following my 12 Days of Christmas Traditions I Love, you may have noticed that I skipped day 4. This was on purpose in light of the events in CT. My 4th favorite is our annual Children's Christmas Program. For whatever reason, I could not bring myself to write this one so close to so many losing their precious children at Christmas. Continued thoughts and prayers for those families.

The Advent Wreath

The advent wreath has been a symbol in the Christian church since possibly the early 16th century. It's purpose is to focus one's heart on Christmas for the 4 weeks leading up to Christmas day. Each candle symbolizes a Sunday before Christmas. The candles all have reflective meanings like Hope, Love, and Joy.

Growing up, my family did the advent wreath every year. It is one of my favorite memories. My mom had a box of mini devotion books and Christian poems and prayer books and each of us would choose something from them to read each night around the wreath. Dad would read a portion of the Bible and we would sing a Christmas hymn. I think the reason it so stood out to me is because this is the only time of the year in which my family would sit down to devotion time together.

While we do devotion time every morning (or almost) in our home, I still like to keep that special advent tradition. Because of my budget our first year, I purchased this booklet that cost only $.99 to lead us. I fell in love with it. It has a new year published each year and this year I got the eBook version for only $.65! It is called the Abingdon Press "Advent: A Calendar of Devotions." You can find it at just about any Christian bookstore, or at www.christianbook.com.

Each evening my husband reads the passage from the Bible. Then I read the devotion. My daughter will usually read the prayer. My son isn't able to read those things yet, so we try to let him help lead the song for the evening and blow out the candle!

I would encourage you to find some way to focus your family's heart on the true meaning of Christmas during this season. I will not rant about the over-commercialization of Christmas, but the truth is that this season is all about Christ's birth. God loved us so much that he sent his one and only Son...let's remember!

Handcrafted Inspiration

I know you all have just been dying to find out what projects we accomplished today on our second day of Project Week!  I decided to focus today on the tedious little projects, the handcrafted stuff. Here's what I ended up with:

1) Handcrafted Monogram frame for Dad's birthday

Easy to do!
What I used:  decorative frame (bought at dollar store on sale for $1.50!!), piece of cardboard to fit glass, gold tissue paper, fine paintbrush, paint, glue
What I did:  I just layered the cardboard with the tissue paper. Only put the glue around the edge or it will wrinkle the paper. Paint the letter onto the tissue paper (I google-image search for the letter to find nice calligraphy letters to replicate) Put into the frame when it is dry! EASY!

2) A remake of my daughters Proverbs 31 mirror: I made this for her pre-school graduation a couple of years ago, but it broke. I promised her a new one and here it is:

What I used: mirror (any will do), fine paintbrush, acrylic paint, Modpodge
What I did: I hand painted Proverbs 31:30 on the mirror (Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.) The first time I did this project, this is all I did. However, this time I coated it with Modpodge to make it easier to clean. Not sure I am completely happy with the finish of the Modpodge...

3) This next one was dear to my heart. While I was pregnant with each of my children, I challenged myself to learn a passage of scripture during the nine months. I memorized a good chunk of Psalm 119 with my daughter, and then all of Hebrews 11 with my son. Based on these, I chose a "life verse" for each of them. When they graduate from Preschool and become "big kids", I frame their verse for their rooms. I then give them another special inspirational gift (made by Mommy!) to go along with it. My daughters was the original of the mirror above.
My son loves animals and cowboy stuff. So, for my son's special gift, I took some old pictures of my dad (his Grampy) when he was young and used to be a bull-rider. I put them in matted frames and wrote inspirational quotes on each matting.

I made three like this. One had the arena quote by Theodore Roosevelt, one had Joshua 1:9, and the above one had the character quote by Thomas Paine. I can't wait for my dad to see these!

So that is what I accomplished so far today! How about you, friend??

Project Week begins!

When life gives you lemons, well, let's face it - it's been over 100 degrees outside everyday for weeks now, we all know we'd be rejoicing for those lemons -and we'd make lemonade! As I've shared, we've recently been dealt some lemons of our own, but it is times like these that make us realize the important things in our life. It is also a great reminder that we are not alone and that we are always dependent on God's provision. One of my favorite proverbs is Proverbs 30:8b-9 (NIV):

Give me neither poverty nor riches, but give me only my daily bread. Otherwise, I may have too much and disown you and say, "Who is the Lord?" Or I may become poor and steal, and so dishonor the name of my God.

God has graciously gotten us through this time and I am happy to say that I have caught up on everything that was so far behind! I am now ready to move forward again! At the beginning of this summer I made a long list of things that I wanted to get done over the summer, you know, while we weren't busy with school and the normal youth gatherings, etc. With visits to family, the fair, mission trips and unexpected adventures, I have accomplished very few of these tasks. This week, however, my husband is gone to camp for a week and it is just the kids and I - with no other obligations! Therefore, I am going to dedicate this whole week to accomplishing things on my list!

I will keep you posted on my accomplishments! We will call this week Project Week! Feel free to share what projects you are accomplishing this week and a link to your post on it if you have one! We will encourage each other on toward our summer tasks, before summer is gone!

So welcome to Project Week!

True Freedom

In honor of our country's Independence Day, I wanted to write about freedom. There are so many things we could discuss in regards to this topic, but the past few days that I have had have led me to want to share about our freedom in Christ. In the United States of America, we celebrate, and hopefully hold dearly to, those freedoms that allow us to make our own choices, especially in regard to our religion. This is a blessing! Not every Christian enjoys these freedoms, though. However the Bible talks about freedom that we all find in Christ. Let's begin with Romans 6:16-21:

"Don’t you know that when you offer yourselves to someone as obedient slaves, you are slaves of the one you obey —whether you are slaves to sin, which leads to death, or to obedience, which leads to righteousness? ¹⁷ But thanks be to God that, though you used to be slaves to sin, you have come to obey from your heart the pattern of teaching that has now claimed your allegiance. ¹⁸ You have been set free from sin and have become slaves to righteousness.
¹⁹ I am using an example from everyday life because of your human limitations. Just as you used to offer yourselves as slaves to impurity and to ever-increasing wickedness, so now offer yourselves as slaves to righteousness leading to holiness. ²⁰ When you were slaves to sin, you were free from the control of righteousness. ²¹ What benefit did you reap at that time from the things you are now ashamed of? Those things result in death! ²² But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves of God, the benefit you reap leads to holiness, and the result is eternal life."

Let me tell you a little about what's going on at my house. You know that old saying, "when it rains, it pours?" Yes, it's pouring around here! Last week, in one day, we had our hot water heater go out, our dishwasher stop running, the dryer will only run half a cycle and to top it all of beautifully,  a screw slipped on my computer when I closed it and the whole things snapped in half. Problem being, we don't make a whole lot of money to fix things all at once like this! Our landlord (love him!) replaced the hot water heater and we decided that our top priority (given how much of our ministry is done via online media - teens!) was our computer. So we spent what little savings we had and bought a computer and I resorted to washing dishes by hand. Ok, moving on. You didn't think that was all, did you? So this week the kids and I took our annual trip to St. Louis to site see with my sister (there are great free family things to do around that area!) The last day there I made a horrifying discovery: the kids and I had lice. I have no clue where it came from, but we had it bad. Therefore, I had to use the remainder of our regular savings to buy all of the treatments, sprays, etc, in order to rid ourselves of this plague! In the process of getting everything in the house washed with hot water to decontaminate, our washing machine broke. No, I am not kidding. So, my dear husband (who was my knight in shining armor this week, by the way!) and I had to break into our anniversary savings money to get a new washer. See, my daughter was born on our first anniversary, so we decided then that we would save money each year instead of celebrate, and every 5 years we would do something grand! Washing machines were not in that plan.

I guess what I am getting at is this: while we are blessed to live in the US and experience numerous freedoms, we are not free from life. We are not free from struggles and burdens and worries. The freedom that we have is the freedom to choose. We are free to choose whether these circumstances are going to get the best of us. We have the freedom to choose whether to focus on these things or to look outside ourselves for opportunities to continue the work for the Kingdom. We have the freedom to choose to wallow in hopelessness and self-pity or to rely on the never-failing faithfulness of God to supply every need. We have freedom from sin, which means no matter what the situation, we can choose God and in the end we will receive eternal life with him because of that freedom.

So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed. -- John 8:36

Borrowed from beamerfilms.com

Here's a little something I have learned from these trying times in my life - think about Job. Satan doesn't give you the time of day if he doesn't think you are worth it. But if he thinks there is some value to steering you off course, then he will give it his all. That means, that in times like these, take it as a compliment: 1) that God would find you trustworthy of such trials and 2) that Satan thinks you are worth coming after. Don't let him win. Let him throw at you whatever he will, but keep your eyes locked on Christ Jesus and focus only on what you can do to glorify him. Claim the victory of this battle and rely on Christ to be your strength.

What's "Bored?"

I have seen rather a few posts lately centered around beating summer boredom. My initial thoughts are, "Bored? I would love to be bored right now!"  Summer is all but boring in our home. It is the time of year that we get to do all the exciting things that we can't do during the rest of the year. So I thought that today I would give you a little taste of our life right now. If you are in the same boat, may you find encouragement and laughter, knowing you are not alone. If you are battling summer bordom, let us give you a little inspiration!

Last week we finished up the county fair. For our first fair, I was rather proud. Princess brought home four blue ribbons and a white ribbon, plus a few participation ribbons, for her photography and chicken show, and even caught one of the greased pigs!. Brother brought home a red ribbon for his rooster (cockrel). I was rather proud of them.I was also proud of myself. See, I don't like birds one bit, but the love of my children found me outside "dunking" chickens into the swimming pool, getting them washed pretty to show. I felt so awefully bad for the shivering little chickens that I pulled out my extension cord and hair dryer and began blowdrying them, right when my sister called to see what I was doing. Awkward! We also attended all the other events to cheer on and encourage all of "our other children." That pretty much filled our week! By the time we made it home for the weekend, my son was so obsessed with showing that he was a "show sheep" for three days and would not speak to us without a "baaa!" in front of it. As I set the food out on the table one night he slipped in and stole his plate. I found him in his "pen" eating on all fours with his face in the plate because "he was a sheep." My daughter was just so tired that every little thing was DRAMA. Again - Bored? Really?

Yesterday, it was really hot, so we were unsure of what to do for our family day. The kids wanted to swim and play, but the heat. So we had an Underwater Theme Day. We began by coloring some pictures of undersea creatures. We watched some Under the Sea movies and then had a grilled fish dinner. The kids swam and pretended to be under the sea creatures and then we read some underwater stories before bed. It was a splash!

My kids are participating in the Library Summer Reading Program. This has filled in most of our gaps of free-time. Princess is shooting for top reader this year, so that has me running to the library for more books every other day or so. Brother isn't quite big enough to read on his own yet, so I use that time to work on phonics with him and do a bit of reading aloud together. I believe we are somewhere past 100 books since June 1. I even got on the band wagon and read a book myself. I only had to stay up until 1:00 in the morning to finish it!

Add in some trips to see family and some vacation spots, we will be hitting St. Louis, Grammie's and Loulou's and maybe even Nanny's for several days each. The weather forcasts the 100s coming up. I am hoping I come out as the Golden Tan Beauty and not Lobster Lady. We add in some Roller Skating, Bowling, Miniature Golfing, Lazer Tag and Pool parties with the youth group. We just finished up t-ball (such fun to watch them when they don't even know which way to run the bases!). Swim lessons begin in a couple of weeks and Princess has a birthday coming right up! Fill in the gaps with play time in the kiddie pool outside, doing our chores in the house and garden, playing backyard ball and having a few playdates with friends and we have ourselves one hoppin' summer shedule!

I am gearing my thinking towards 4th of July now. Last year we had a cozy firework display together at home. The year before found my husband and I on the roof dropping firecrackers down our chiminey to chase off bats (a story for another day!). I am trying to decide what this year will hold! I have gathered some cute recipes and ideas out of some family magazines. I will let you know how it all falls together!

For now, I have spent enough time on the computer and must return to my outrageous summer!
What ideas have you enjoyed this year?? I would love to hear how you are keeping busy!

So I Married An Imperfect Person!

Anytime a young woman is thinking about marriage, my advice is for her to decide if she can live with him exactly the way he is, because she will never change him. Some may argue that men can change, through prayer and God working in their lives, and this is true, but not a guarantee...and it is the Spirit of God that makes these changes, not a nagging wife! The best way to enter into a marriage is with your eyes wide open and a committed heart to love him and stay with him exactly the way he is!

The truth is none of us is perfect. We all sin and fall short. My dear husband made sure early on in our relationship that I knew all of what he considered his short-comings, so I would "know what I was getting into." The truth is, if I didn't stay with my husband through his mistakes, I would end up alone or with another imperfect person.

This is where forgiveness comes into play. While I was thinking of how I could approach the topic of forgiveness in marriage, I realized that it is somewhat of an obscure philosophy in this generation. We are so used to getting something new when what we have doesn't please us anymore (instant gratification) that the practice has even rolled over into our marriages. When I was a teenager, my pastor would tell me that love is not an emotion; infatuation is an emotion; lust is an emotion; happiness and excitement are emotions. Love is a commitment. You don't stay with your spouse because he makes you feel all giddy inside 24 hours a day (sorry, honey!). You stay with him because you love him and committed to stay with him "through rich or poor, sickness and health, good times and bad." The only way to possibly do that is to learn to forgive his mistakes.

Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you have a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. Colossians 3:13

Think about that. How did the Lord forgive you? Completely. Selflessly. Without thinking of the wrong we had done him, he laid down his life to cover those sins. He replaced our filthiness with his righteousness and he stands before the judgement seat to defend us. How can we possibly every forgive anyone that way? We can start by giving them grace. Allow him to be human and make mistakes without holding it against him for the rest of your lives. Defend his honor. Don't go tell everyone every mistake your husband makes. Pick up where he fails. Come along beside him to help him break those unhealthy patterns instead of being bitter and closing yourself off from him. Give him a clean slate each day. That is how we would forgive our husbands as the Lord forgave us.

This is easier to say than to do, I realize! Selfishness, pride, bitterness, and just plain pain get in the way. I find myself blessed to be married to a man that I can share these feelings with so that he is able to help me forgive him. Not everyone has such open communication with their spouse. But don't forget where emotion and reality cross. Don't mistake unhappiness for a loss of love. Don't drop a commitment to your marriage in exchange for some unrealistic idea that you could be happier elsewhere. The only way to make a marriage work is to forgive and keep on working at it! No healthy marriage worth having doesn't come at a high price of hard work and selfless living. Let's make that commitment together today to love and forgive in our marriages!

(Note: Please understand that I believe there are certain situations where forgiveness and self-preservation are two different things. I do not believe a woman who is being abused or treated unfaithfully needs to stay in that unhealthy situation. If this is your case, this post is not for you and you should seek out help and christian counsel!)

Letting the Spirit Move in Your Plans

It was really great to be back home again, especially to have my kids back in my arms, easily kissable! I found however, that now that summer is here (and I have my babies back), there is so much that we can do! The thing is I want to do everything, but I am accomplishing nothing!

I asked a question on my facebook page to see how different women organize their day - whether it is a little-each-day schedule, a one-focus-a-day schedule, or a -whatever-is-most-important-right-now schedule.  The majority of the responses were for the whatever-is-most-important-right-now type. I think for the most part that this is good! It leaves us room to "let the Spirit move," so to speak. As we keep in mind the most important task for each day, let us always remember what Christ told us was most important:

"Jesus replied: 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind..." "Love your neighbor as yourself.'" Matthew 22:37,39

Relationships are always the most important aspect of our day. The rest can wait. I promise.

However, (you knew that was coming, right? I mean, I am a type A person!) in my opinion, the best way to make sure that you are able to follow the Spirit's lead and put relationships first is to make sure that you are accomplishing your tasks during the time that there are not other things begging your attention! If you have procrastinated that project to the deadline, have 2 hours left to get it done, and your dear friend comes over with a need, how hard will it be for you to set aside your project to have a cup of coffee and listen to her? So some semblance of a schedule is needed.

The one-focus-a-day schedule works best for me because I am easily overwhelmed when I have too much to do and get busy doing all of it at once! My husband, a youth pastor, is off on Mondays, so that is our family day! I try to get us out of the house so we are not tempted to work around the house on this day! Tuesdays are then the days that I focus on cleaning up my house after our "weekend." I usually have a day for ministry planning, a day for bills and grocery shopping, and a day for whatever else needs doing around our home. Mixed in, I try to make sure that my kids have a play date day as well. I don't (can't) schedule hourly, but simply make a list of the things I would like to accomplish that day, mixed with visits to the library, time outs with girlfriends, and t-ball games! Then, I go through my list, making sure that as I do, I am open to anything happening at any moment...as the Spirit leads!

Just remember dear friend, while God wants us to be good stewards of the blessings he has given us (time, home, children, etc!), these two verses to ponder:

Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and he will establish your plans. Proverbs 16:3

Many are the plans in a person's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails. Proverbs 19:21

Say "Cheese!"

I had an incredible weekend at the Homeschool Conference this past weekend and walked away with many truths that I stored in my heart.  It was truly a weekend that filled my cup. Over the next few posts, I will share some of them with you.  Today, I want to share with you a lesson that I was reminded of.  It is a very simple one.  Smile.

One of the speakers pointed out that our children want nothing more than to know that we are proud of them or that we love them.  Don't have children?  That's ok.  This lesson will still be applicable for you because we all want to feel appreciated, loved and validated.  The easiest way to make our children or others feel this way is to smile.

How often have you smiled today?  Have you been so burdened by your chores, your job, your finances, your relationships, that when your children approach you they are greeted with a frown? a scowl? a sigh? or maybe even a push away ("go play. Mommy's busy.")?  Oh, how this simple lesson pierced my heart!

You have right now with them. The problems will never go away, but your babies will! Do you want them to feel like they have to perform or achieve a certain way for you to smile and delight in them? They should feel like their very presence in your life brings you joy, delight...or at least a smile to your face!

My challenge to you today, dear sister, is to smile.  Smile at your children.  Smile at your husband.  Smile at others around you.  You will find that this simple act of smiling will actually result in changes within you.  It has for me!  I can't smile and respond bitterly.  I can't smile and refuse to get up and interact with my kids.  I can't smile and get frustrated at them for doing the same thing for the 506th time.  When I smile, I react differently.  When I smile at my husband while he is telling me about our problems, I am validating him and the choices he is making.  It causes me to hold back my "two cents" and support his choice.  When I smile at my children, they know that I love them unconditionally.  They know that they can be exactly who they are and I will love them and delight in them!  When I smile, I show that the joy of the Lord really is in my heart!

I can't tell you how this works, but I know it does! So say, "Cheese!"

To read more about my weekend at the Homeschool Convention click here.

Saturday's Fun Family Time Tip #6: Spring Time Joys

Ok, so last weekend was Easter. You are worn out and still playing catch up on your chores. If you are like me, you also started your Spring Cleaning! Tonight's Family Night may not be highest on your priority list! No problem! The great thing about family nights is that as long as you are together, it is making memories and building those essential family bonds! So here are some things that I do to create those family moments even when I am overwhelmed with my "to dos." The main idea is to celebrate those Spring Time Joys!

1) During your busy work day of Spring Cleaning, set "break" times (I try to break at 10, 12, 2, etc). During these breaks, give your kids your FULL attention. Have a snack. Play a short game of cards. Do a craft or activity like play-dough or beads. Make sure they know that even though you are busy, your time with them is still precious!

2) Play "while you are working" games. Play word games or have your kids read to you or tell you jokes. You are working, but that doesn't mean they can't be there having fun with you. Try focusing your games on Spring Themes.

3) Take time as a family to plant starter seeds for your garden. Or do another spring project like building a bird house or preparing your mini-farm for this springs fair animals. Clean out a closet or room together. These projects can be fun with good attitudes and positive direction for you kids!

Spring is here! Celebrate with them! Whatever you decide to do, add a fun project and creative snack or meal to top off the theme!

Here is a cute idea my sister did for Easter (and I know you all have left over hard-boiled eggs from last Sunday!):

Here's the easy recipe:
Ingredients:
Hard boiled eggs
food coloring
mayonaise
curry
salt
water

Directions:
Carefully peel the eggs. Cut them in half. Put the yolks together in a bowl. Fill four other bowls with different colors of food coloring and about 1 cup of water. Place the egg whites into the different colors and allow them to sit and "get colored." Mix together the egg yolks, mayonaise, a TBS or more of curry and dash salt (to taste!). It should be a creamy texture. Remove the egg whites from the coloring and let them dry. Then fill the egg whites with the yolk mixture and yo uhave a great Spring Time Treat!

Spring Cleaning Your Spiritual Dwelling Place

Yes, it is that time of year again. Time to open up the windows, clean out the closets, and wash behind every dresser and in every corner! I love it and I hate it! I love the outcome, but hate the process. I know, however, that this is one of those times when I am challenge in my "profession." This is the big week of the year to really put my all into being a work-at-home mom! I am doing it much earlier this year than usual because I want to donate my things to our church's yard sale to support missions...so, it has begun!

As I was scrubbing and rinsing and vacuuming and organizing today, my mind was wandering as usual, and I began to wonder how often we "spring clean" our spiritual homes? Ephesians 2:22 tells us:

And in him you too are being built together to become a dwelling in which God lives by his Spirit.

WE are the dwelling place for God's Spirit! Are we keeping up with our spiritual dwelling place? There are so many ways that we could evaluate and tackle this task. Are we displaying the fruits of the Spirit? (Galatians 5:22-23) Have we rid ourselves of worldly things and clothed ourselves with righteousness? (Colossians 3) Are we being godly woman as lined out in Titus 2?
My challenge to you would be to find a passage of Scripture that lines out what your desire for your spiritual dwelling is, and then focus on ways that you can take those steps to making it that place! Whether it is a change in lifestyle or just an attitude adjustment, it is the time of year for spring cleaning, so let's get the job done! Are you with me?

One Shot

Do you like to look at old picture albums? I love it! Often, on a special occasion, I will set out a few for our family to sit and look at together. I love the memories that old photographs bring up and we can't look through them without more than a few laughs.
The funny thing about photographs is that you can't change them. You can't give yourself a new haircut in that high school picture. You can't take that boy's arm from around your shoulder. You can't put a smile on your face back at Aunt Lucy's birthday party. You can't remove the scrape on your daughter's head from where she fell down the stairs on picture day. You can't paint the walls of that ugly little first house. And you can't change the memories that are a part of them. You can't change what happened in those photos, or what happened before or what happened after. Most of us wouldn't want to.



One of those One-Shot Moments I'd never change!

 Our lives are like a giant album of memories. Each moment we live is a photograph. It is a moment that will be whatever we make it and we can't go back and change it! That is why it is so important for me to live each moment to the best of my ability. Because I only get one shot at it! I can never go back and redo right now.
There are days that I am so tired, I would like to put the kids straight into bed. But story time, the telling of our "favorite part of the day," and prayer is one of the best bonding times that we have. Some days I feel that I would rather read my Bible in peace, but I know the importance of letting my children see me studying God's Word.  Some days I am so worn out from their antics that I want to give up and just say "whatever," but I know that the lack of consistency would be damaging to the discipline of my child. I will get very real with you right now: some days I don't want to give up myself and the things I want to do in order to serve and be the mother of my family. On those days, my husband and I always just tell ourselves that this is our only shot. One day I will be old, my house will be perfectly clean because no children will live there; I will have time to read as many books as I want; I will have money to buy my extra goodies because I won't have to buy clothes, diapers, cleats, notebooks, milk...I will get to travel as much as I want because I won't have children I am leaving behind. But the main thing there is...I won't have children. They will be gone. This is our one shot to raise them. However we raise them is how they will be raised. The memories we make with them right now are the memories we will have left. The relationships we form with them will determine whether they come back to visit regularly and bring the beautiful grandbabies, and call, and write. And the spiritual walk we lead them on right now will determine the spiritual road they take as adults. And we've only got one shot.
I use the example of children because this is what is my passion and priority, but this principle applies to every moment of every woman's life, with or without children. This is your one shot at today. What are you going to do with it?

Pizza, Anyone?

When I was in college, I would get really nervous during finals. Even though I had done well the whole semester, I would have a nervous breakdown during this time of year! Every time, I would call my mom and she would reassure me and calm me. You know that mom-phrasology that you never forget? Well, there was one phrase my mom always told me when I would get overwhelmed:

You can only eat a pizza one bite at a time.

What she meant was, if you try to take on everything at once, there's no way you can handle it and you will completely overwhelm yourself. When we are overwhelmed we must focus on one task at a time instead of trying to figure out the whole big picture! God is the only one who can understand the whole picture. 
My pastor growing up told me one time that our lives were like a giant, beautiful tapestry. God sees the top, all the colors and patterns and the beautiful picture our lives create. We see the bottom, the messy tangle of loose strings and seemingly unorganized knots and threads. We need to quit trying to understand it all or do it all and just take each thing as it comes, one step at a time. Jesus had similar advice when He said,

Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. - Matthew 6:34

God wants us to be organized. He placed us in our homes to care for it, to care for our children, to create a safe-haven. There is a difference, however, between being organized and worrying over things. What is it that you need to do right now? Laundry? Write a letter? Play outside with your kids? Make dinner? Then do it! Do it to the best of your ability and don't worry what isn't getting done or about tomorrow's agenda, or next week's! God has a plan for everything and He will make sure it all turns out just perfectly if you have trust in Him. One thing at a time - one big ol' bite of that cheesy pizza at a time!