Honeycomb Words

It happens over and over. I say something without thinking about it or at an inappropriate time and I rip a hole in my husband's pride. I know this isn't respectful or honoring or encouraging. At times, when I do it in front of the kids (BIG no-no, mamas!), it is damaging their perception of their father -- and when it gets down to it, it is usually a stupid reason. I am trying to defend my own broken, damaged heart from getting any more hurts. I am trying to protect my children from having wounds from things that wounded me. But the worst of it is that I am assuming that my husband is going to be the one that I must defend against instead of seeing him as my protector and lover. I will tell you that he does nothing to deserve that assumption. That is just a result of me having lived in a broken world.

God asks us to respect our husbands. If we want him to see that respect and honor and rise to that position, we must encourage him! The Bible tells us that our words can go both ways:

The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. --Prov. 12:18

We all know this. We even made up a little rhyme years ago to try to deny the pain that words can cause: Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words will never hurt me! How wrong! Words can cause some of the worst pain of all! They "pierce like swords!" The great thing is, we can also use our words to bring healing. Here is another passage that tells us the potential our words have if we will grab hold of the right way to use our words:

Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones. --Prov. 16:24

I don't know about you, but I would love for someone to say those things about the words that come out of my mouth. Here are some ways that I have found (and need to put to better use!) that help to keep our words sweet honeycombs to our husbands:

1) Pray before you speak! If there is something that is bothering you, don't just pounce on it. Give yourself time to seek God's counsel before you approach your husband.

2) Think about the sound of your words from the outside. Is there any way that what you are saying could be taken as an insult to his authority or manhood? Is there a better, gentler way to say it? Can you make a suggestion without putting down his previous decisions?

3) Timing. Choose a time that is intimate between you and your husband. Don't confront him in front of others, especially not your children. Don't confront him when he is already beaten down and tired.

4) Most importantly - find every opportunity to tell him what a great job he is doing. From earning an income, to playing with the kids, to loading the dishwasher (the wrong way!), to mowing the lawn - all of your praises matter to him! They show him you care and honor him! They show him that his efforts matter to you! So don't hold back those praises today!

Today, let us both strive, dear sister, to guard our words. Let us be women who speak honeycomb words that heal and sweeten the soul of our marriage!