After a Time of Absence...

I know that it has been a long time since I have written a blog post...there's good reason! This past summer our family was blessed with a new home. It is a gorgeous old home from 1901, which I love! It has come, however, with the additional package of needing lots of TLC! So, between moving a family with young children, trying to maintain a "semi-normal" lifestyle of work and play, and starting another school year (in a new place!), and being married to the youth pastor (speaks for itself, right?), I haven't had much time for the extras. Along the way, however, I have learned many heart lessons, overcome many frustrations, gotten in too deep into projects and have come out with lots that I would love to share with you. So I decided to pick up my technological pen and paper and begin to write once again...

 



a time to tear down and a time to build...(Ecclesiastes 3:3)

 

 

This old barn is on the property where we have moved. As cool as it is, it is completely unstable and the insurance companies have all but demanded that it come down.  So today we decided to begin the painstaking process of tearing it apart (saving wood and lumber for this and that). Included in this process however, was the task of building a temporary shelter for our sheep, who are due to lamb next week! Using the materials we were tearing off of the old barn, we were at the same time using them to build, and setting aside other pieces to build in the future!

As I began thinking about this process, I realized that this is exactly what God does with our lives. It certainly sums up what He has done with my life this past 6 months! We often come to a point in our lives when we know it is time to tear down. There are things that just gotta go. I find it difficult when I am at this point to determine which things need to be "torn down." It is a task of prioritizing and can also be painful when you finally figure out which things need to go.

Once we have made it through this time of tearing down, God then begins to use those pieces of our broken lives to build again. Whether it is leaving a home to start anew in another home, getting a new job, terminating unhealthy relationships and building new ones, tearing down walls and buildings to make new, sturdier ones, (the list goes on and on and on!)...we then begin to build again.

So what I have learned that I would like to pass on to you today is this, do not be afraid to "tear down" because it is only then that you can build again. And our God is notorious for rebuilding things much better than they were before!

 

 

 



Reset

Have you ever had your computer freeze up on you? There is just too much going on in its intricate little brain, too many uploads, too much information, too many commands. My husband is notorious for losing work he's spent hours on because he forgets to "save as you go!" The worst for me is when I am in the middle of watching a movie (we do online tv/movies) and right when you are about to figure it all out - freeze.  I believe that we all learned early on those magic key-strokes (ctrl+alt+delete). Now the world of technology has a "refresh" button!

I believe that sometimes our lives are just like our overloaded computers. There is just too much going on inside our brains that we are responsible for. There are experiences changing us and teaching us. There are too many things that we must remember (shopping lists, bills due, children's extra-curriculars, laundry, dishes, church events, call your mother, feed the animals, did you feed the kids today?). And there are just too many demands! On just Monday I schooled my children, cleaned my house, took my daughter to her bread-making class, coached a soccer practice, rushed back over for a 4-H meeting, then made it home just in time to bathe the kids, read them their story, put them in bed, grab some food and ask my husband how his volleyball tournament went (they won 1st place!).

Freeze. Do you remember that verse from Psalm 46:10?
"He says, “Be still, and know that I am God;"
I will tell it to you straight - we can not live our lives at top speed like this if we want to continue to have joy, purpose and fulfillment. We will kill ourselves. Our lives and the impact we have on others is a direct overflow from what is within us. If we have tapped into our reserve tanks and run them dry as well, we are in a bad position.  Last week we took our Easter break. I committed to do nothing that was not absolutely necessary. I laid around and watched movies with my kids. We had a week-long Monopoly game going. We ate...a lot. I read a book. I breathed.
Is it time for you, dear friend, to freeze for a little while?

Ctrl+Alt+Delete.
In Jeremiah 31:25 our Lord reminds us that,
"I will refresh the weary and satisfy the faint.”
I think that often times we get carried away with all our comings and goings. It is important that each of us take a time out and reset. On my wonderful Easter break, after I began to breathe again, I then began to think again.  I thought about my family and my children. I realized I had let a lot of the simple, but important things slip through the cracks while focused on the less important "pressing" things. I recommitted. Think about the things you do, why you do them, and what may be missing.
Here are a few things that I think you should consider when you reset:
Purpose - don't do anything unless there is a purpose. If the purpose doesn't fit what you want for your life, for your children, or for your ministry, then don't waste your time on it! (this would also be a good idea for you to think about what your purpose is for your life and your family)
Family driven - your children grow so fast. Make sure that the things you do now cultivate your family being united. Do things together!
Fill Your Own Cup - make sure that you include time for yourself occasionally. Make sure that this time is fulfilling to you, not a time where you are still giving. Have a ladies night out, go to a retreat, spend time at a book store with a hot chai latte (my favorite!). Fill your own spirit!
Cultivate Your Marriage - make sure that everything you do is working toward a common vision between you and your spouse. Make sure to spend time alone with your spouse. Make sure that you regularly have energy at the end of the day to devote to intimacy. Take time outs to do special things to remind them that you love them!
Good Isn't Always Best - The hardest part for me is to weed out the unnecessary when everything is "good." Sometimes something doesn't have to be "bad" in order to cut it out. It just may not be the "best" thing in your life right now.

Don't miss out on the beauty, the charm, the blessings of your life because you are too busy running through life. You know that old idiom "Stop and smell the roses." There is beauty flowing from everything around us, but we must take the time to see it.  Now, go ahead and hit that refresh button in your life!

Project Week begins!

When life gives you lemons, well, let's face it - it's been over 100 degrees outside everyday for weeks now, we all know we'd be rejoicing for those lemons -and we'd make lemonade! As I've shared, we've recently been dealt some lemons of our own, but it is times like these that make us realize the important things in our life. It is also a great reminder that we are not alone and that we are always dependent on God's provision. One of my favorite proverbs is Proverbs 30:8b-9 (NIV):

Give me neither poverty nor riches, but give me only my daily bread. Otherwise, I may have too much and disown you and say, "Who is the Lord?" Or I may become poor and steal, and so dishonor the name of my God.

God has graciously gotten us through this time and I am happy to say that I have caught up on everything that was so far behind! I am now ready to move forward again! At the beginning of this summer I made a long list of things that I wanted to get done over the summer, you know, while we weren't busy with school and the normal youth gatherings, etc. With visits to family, the fair, mission trips and unexpected adventures, I have accomplished very few of these tasks. This week, however, my husband is gone to camp for a week and it is just the kids and I - with no other obligations! Therefore, I am going to dedicate this whole week to accomplishing things on my list!

I will keep you posted on my accomplishments! We will call this week Project Week! Feel free to share what projects you are accomplishing this week and a link to your post on it if you have one! We will encourage each other on toward our summer tasks, before summer is gone!

So welcome to Project Week!

What's "Bored?"

I have seen rather a few posts lately centered around beating summer boredom. My initial thoughts are, "Bored? I would love to be bored right now!"  Summer is all but boring in our home. It is the time of year that we get to do all the exciting things that we can't do during the rest of the year. So I thought that today I would give you a little taste of our life right now. If you are in the same boat, may you find encouragement and laughter, knowing you are not alone. If you are battling summer bordom, let us give you a little inspiration!

Last week we finished up the county fair. For our first fair, I was rather proud. Princess brought home four blue ribbons and a white ribbon, plus a few participation ribbons, for her photography and chicken show, and even caught one of the greased pigs!. Brother brought home a red ribbon for his rooster (cockrel). I was rather proud of them.I was also proud of myself. See, I don't like birds one bit, but the love of my children found me outside "dunking" chickens into the swimming pool, getting them washed pretty to show. I felt so awefully bad for the shivering little chickens that I pulled out my extension cord and hair dryer and began blowdrying them, right when my sister called to see what I was doing. Awkward! We also attended all the other events to cheer on and encourage all of "our other children." That pretty much filled our week! By the time we made it home for the weekend, my son was so obsessed with showing that he was a "show sheep" for three days and would not speak to us without a "baaa!" in front of it. As I set the food out on the table one night he slipped in and stole his plate. I found him in his "pen" eating on all fours with his face in the plate because "he was a sheep." My daughter was just so tired that every little thing was DRAMA. Again - Bored? Really?

Yesterday, it was really hot, so we were unsure of what to do for our family day. The kids wanted to swim and play, but the heat. So we had an Underwater Theme Day. We began by coloring some pictures of undersea creatures. We watched some Under the Sea movies and then had a grilled fish dinner. The kids swam and pretended to be under the sea creatures and then we read some underwater stories before bed. It was a splash!

My kids are participating in the Library Summer Reading Program. This has filled in most of our gaps of free-time. Princess is shooting for top reader this year, so that has me running to the library for more books every other day or so. Brother isn't quite big enough to read on his own yet, so I use that time to work on phonics with him and do a bit of reading aloud together. I believe we are somewhere past 100 books since June 1. I even got on the band wagon and read a book myself. I only had to stay up until 1:00 in the morning to finish it!

Add in some trips to see family and some vacation spots, we will be hitting St. Louis, Grammie's and Loulou's and maybe even Nanny's for several days each. The weather forcasts the 100s coming up. I am hoping I come out as the Golden Tan Beauty and not Lobster Lady. We add in some Roller Skating, Bowling, Miniature Golfing, Lazer Tag and Pool parties with the youth group. We just finished up t-ball (such fun to watch them when they don't even know which way to run the bases!). Swim lessons begin in a couple of weeks and Princess has a birthday coming right up! Fill in the gaps with play time in the kiddie pool outside, doing our chores in the house and garden, playing backyard ball and having a few playdates with friends and we have ourselves one hoppin' summer shedule!

I am gearing my thinking towards 4th of July now. Last year we had a cozy firework display together at home. The year before found my husband and I on the roof dropping firecrackers down our chiminey to chase off bats (a story for another day!). I am trying to decide what this year will hold! I have gathered some cute recipes and ideas out of some family magazines. I will let you know how it all falls together!

For now, I have spent enough time on the computer and must return to my outrageous summer!
What ideas have you enjoyed this year?? I would love to hear how you are keeping busy!

Letting the Spirit Move in Your Plans

It was really great to be back home again, especially to have my kids back in my arms, easily kissable! I found however, that now that summer is here (and I have my babies back), there is so much that we can do! The thing is I want to do everything, but I am accomplishing nothing!

I asked a question on my facebook page to see how different women organize their day - whether it is a little-each-day schedule, a one-focus-a-day schedule, or a -whatever-is-most-important-right-now schedule.  The majority of the responses were for the whatever-is-most-important-right-now type. I think for the most part that this is good! It leaves us room to "let the Spirit move," so to speak. As we keep in mind the most important task for each day, let us always remember what Christ told us was most important:

"Jesus replied: 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind..." "Love your neighbor as yourself.'" Matthew 22:37,39

Relationships are always the most important aspect of our day. The rest can wait. I promise.

However, (you knew that was coming, right? I mean, I am a type A person!) in my opinion, the best way to make sure that you are able to follow the Spirit's lead and put relationships first is to make sure that you are accomplishing your tasks during the time that there are not other things begging your attention! If you have procrastinated that project to the deadline, have 2 hours left to get it done, and your dear friend comes over with a need, how hard will it be for you to set aside your project to have a cup of coffee and listen to her? So some semblance of a schedule is needed.

The one-focus-a-day schedule works best for me because I am easily overwhelmed when I have too much to do and get busy doing all of it at once! My husband, a youth pastor, is off on Mondays, so that is our family day! I try to get us out of the house so we are not tempted to work around the house on this day! Tuesdays are then the days that I focus on cleaning up my house after our "weekend." I usually have a day for ministry planning, a day for bills and grocery shopping, and a day for whatever else needs doing around our home. Mixed in, I try to make sure that my kids have a play date day as well. I don't (can't) schedule hourly, but simply make a list of the things I would like to accomplish that day, mixed with visits to the library, time outs with girlfriends, and t-ball games! Then, I go through my list, making sure that as I do, I am open to anything happening at any moment...as the Spirit leads!

Just remember dear friend, while God wants us to be good stewards of the blessings he has given us (time, home, children, etc!), these two verses to ponder:

Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and he will establish your plans. Proverbs 16:3

Many are the plans in a person's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails. Proverbs 19:21

De-Stressing!

I have a new project this week. I am attempting to de-stress my lifestyle. How about you? Need a little de-stressing?

I will admit, I am an over-achieving, type A perfectionist. Phew! Glad to get that out! While I enjoy accomplishing things and I enjoy the work I do, I realize that at times I do too much. I think that this "too much" is affecting my health, my relationships, and my overall happiness! In short, my cup is empty and I keep trying to pour out of it! The bad part is, however, that I am this way by my own making. My husband doesn't require it. My kids don't demand it. My ministry would function well without it. The "it" being the stress! I am sure that half of what I do would still get done even if I took a little time to relax.

God does not want a bunch of pack-mule women to serve him through pain and suffering. He says,

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." --Matthew 11:28

and he goes on!

"Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden in light." --Matthew 11:29-30

That sounds nothing like my daily routine! So I began to do a little research on reducing stress in your life. What I found medically completely supported everything found in Scripture (go figure!) So if you, dear sister, like me, need a little de-stressing in you life, join me in trying the following ideas!

Calm Music
Calming music and sounds are supposed to lower one's stress level. Looking back to the life of Saul, this king hired David to come and play music for him then he "would feel better." (1 Samuel 16:23)
I have attempted to play some classical music each day this week while I am doing chores or taking a shower.

Call a Friend
It is proven that when one feels stressed and gives a friend a call, just the thought of sharing the burden with another lowers the level of stress. If we think of this, Proverbs 17:17 has already shown this to us when it says

"A friend loves at all time, and a brother is born for a time of adversity."

Eat Right and Exercise
Well, we all know this one, so I am not going to get into it too much... Do you recall Daniel 1? By eating healthy and as the Lord had instructed, Daniel and his companions were "healthier and better nourished than any of the young men who ate the royal food." (Daniel 1:15) This week I am attempting to get up each morning and do some exercises. I am also cutting back on my caffeine intake (gasp!) and taking daily vitamins!

Meditation and Deep Breaths
Well, while this may bring to mind some Eastern religious mumbo-jumbo, we must not forget that we are supposed to be meditating - on the Word of God! There are passages after passages to remind us of this, but consider the following:

Keep this Book of the Law always on your lips; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful. --Joshua 1:8

Laugh
Remember the Proverbs 31 woman? It says that she can "laugh at the days to come." (Proverbs 31:25).
Laughter is proven to be a huge stress reliever! Remember the old saying "laughter is the best medicine?" There is truth to that! My kids always serve for a good laugh if I just take the time to sit and play a little with them! I also love to watch Psych. Thirty minutes with those quirky guys and I am rolling in laughter! Find what tickles your funny bone and take some time out for it!

Sleep Well
Doctors recommend that adults get 7-8 hours of sleep each night. Those of you with young children laugh at this idea. Think about the following:

In vain you rise early and stay up late, toiling for food to eat - for he grants sleep to those he loves. --Psalm 127:2

Sounds like God values sleep, doesn't it? Make the effort to get a good night's sleep each night.

Purpose
This last one is from me. Don't let the things you do as a result of your life's purpose become your life's purpose. Always remember why you do what you do.

My goal is to implement all of these into my lifestyle. What about you? What can you do this week to de-stress your life a little?

Say "Cheese!"

I had an incredible weekend at the Homeschool Conference this past weekend and walked away with many truths that I stored in my heart.  It was truly a weekend that filled my cup. Over the next few posts, I will share some of them with you.  Today, I want to share with you a lesson that I was reminded of.  It is a very simple one.  Smile.

One of the speakers pointed out that our children want nothing more than to know that we are proud of them or that we love them.  Don't have children?  That's ok.  This lesson will still be applicable for you because we all want to feel appreciated, loved and validated.  The easiest way to make our children or others feel this way is to smile.

How often have you smiled today?  Have you been so burdened by your chores, your job, your finances, your relationships, that when your children approach you they are greeted with a frown? a scowl? a sigh? or maybe even a push away ("go play. Mommy's busy.")?  Oh, how this simple lesson pierced my heart!

You have right now with them. The problems will never go away, but your babies will! Do you want them to feel like they have to perform or achieve a certain way for you to smile and delight in them? They should feel like their very presence in your life brings you joy, delight...or at least a smile to your face!

My challenge to you today, dear sister, is to smile.  Smile at your children.  Smile at your husband.  Smile at others around you.  You will find that this simple act of smiling will actually result in changes within you.  It has for me!  I can't smile and respond bitterly.  I can't smile and refuse to get up and interact with my kids.  I can't smile and get frustrated at them for doing the same thing for the 506th time.  When I smile, I react differently.  When I smile at my husband while he is telling me about our problems, I am validating him and the choices he is making.  It causes me to hold back my "two cents" and support his choice.  When I smile at my children, they know that I love them unconditionally.  They know that they can be exactly who they are and I will love them and delight in them!  When I smile, I show that the joy of the Lord really is in my heart!

I can't tell you how this works, but I know it does! So say, "Cheese!"

To read more about my weekend at the Homeschool Convention click here.

Everyday Miracles

I sometimes call them "a God thing" and sometimes I use the old fashioned word miracle. We don't hear the term miracle as often today. Is it that they don't happen as often, or that we aren't giving them the credit they deserve? I wanted to write a little bit today about miracles, answered prayers, wake-up calls...you know, those God things, because I have been face to face with several of these the last few weeks. Miracles come in all sizes and shapes, and I want to share a few with you! I think that as Christian moms, trying to do all and be all, we can overlook the small miracles in our lives. I hope that this will help you see that they are all around us, so that you may wake up to the glorious wonder of the miracles in your own life!

He performs wonders that cannot be fathomed, miracles that cannot be counted. --Job 5:9

Over a week ago:  My husband's nephew went to the hospital. He had a severe blood problem - his platelet count and white blood cell count were dangerously low. They thought he could have leukemia. We prayed and prayed that this would not be the case. He is now home and has been diagnosed with what is known as ITP, a serious disorder, but one that is controllable. It is a miracle for our family that he is able to be with us, home, and able to control what is wrong - that he doesn't have leukemia.

Monday:  There was a bill due for $300.  I had no way to pay it.  That day, my husband received a check for a side job he had done for $350.  I paid the bill.  This is not the first time one of these small financial miracles has happened to me...

Wednesday:  I sat on her front porch, looking at this beautiful woman holding her 6 day old baby boy in her arms and listening to her pour out her story to me.  I was awestruck with what this woman had been through in her life. Years before, she had experienced things that no one should experience, things that led her to attempt to take her life.  The doctors could not explain to her how it was that she could talk, move...or be alive.  It was a miracle.  It led her to believe in God and give her life to Christ.  I was sitting here listening and looking at the picture that miracles still happen.

Thursday:  I got to hold my dear friends' hours old baby in my arms in the hospital room.  She was beautiful.  I was reminded of my own babies' births.  I looked at her tiny little nose and fingers.  Each time I moved she would crinkle up her nose and whine!  I was holding a precious miracle in my hands and loving every minute of it!

Friday:  Thinking about the homeschool convention next weekend.  I don't know where I am going to get the money to buy our curriculum there.  That morning, I get the state refund check for the exact amount of money that I need. Then, my husband calls and lets me know that the $300 bill (see Monday above) was already paid somehow and we get to keep our $300.  I cry my eyes out.  How does this always happen to us?  Everyday miracles is what they are.

These are those that stuck out to me just this past week!  I know that there were plenty more mixed in there as well!  I believe that our days are saturated with miracles everywhere we turn.  I also know that our days are sometimes filled with pain, unanswered prayers, a 'lack' of miracles.  During these times it is hard to understand why things happen or to open our eyes, which are filled with tears, to the miracles around us. It is at that time that there is only one miracle that we need to be aware of...that we are safely held in God's arms until we are through our valley.

I will remember the deeds of the Lord; yes, I will remember your miracles of long ago.--Psalm 77:11

Open your eyes today to the many everyday miracles around you.  Take time out of your busy schedule to notice! Give God the credit for them that He deserves.  Don't credit science, coincidence, or luck.  It's a God thing.  Let your cup be filled knowing that God is showering you with His blessings and His miracles!

Little Reminders

Do you ever stop and think about what your life will be like 10, 20 years from now? Where is the path you are on taking you? I often think about this and wonder if I am not only doing my best right here, right now, but also building the best future. Am I seizing opportunities to make the memories I will cherish in the years to come? Am I equipping my children with the tools to be strong, self-sufficient, godly individuals?
One of the most important, am I nourishing my marriage to be the relationship that will still be there when my kids are grown and all others have moved on?
Proverbs 5:18 says, "May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth." Am I giving my husband something to rejoice about in the years to come?
Sometimes I am too busy taking care of all the technical aspects of marriage (raising the kids, cleaning the house, folding the laundry, cooking the meals, doing the bills...) that I forget to put effort into the marriage itself.
So how do you keep your marriage front and center? Now that I have a several years under my belt, what I find easiest is to use the ideas that worked in the past. We all have those special memories of the silly little lovestruck things we did when we were dating, engaged or first married. What were those things? What was it that made those things special? Repeat them and watch your husband's face light up, guaranteed!
This week I recalled early on in our marriage, before my first daughter was born, in our tiny 4 room (not bedroom) house.  I had a red dry erase marker that I used to write love messages to my Beloved on the bathroom mirror for him to find before or after work. After a few moves and a couple of kids later, that dry erase marker got lost and forgotten, but I remember how he would smile when he found those messages.  So, I started rummaging through my desk (there are now dozens of dry erase markers in my possession) and found a red dry erase marker. I went into the bathroom and wrote a simple "I love you" on his mirror. It was so sweet when he found it, like I had done something reeeallly out of the way for him. I wrote on the bathroom mirror, how hard was that? But in actuality, how hard are any of the little extra things that we can do to remind our husbands that they are the number one in our lives?
Your husband married you for a reason - because you made him smile and gave him something to rejoice about. Don't be too busy and burdened with the everyday to lose what it is he loves most about you - you!

Seek the Son

I am not a great gardener, but I love to try anyway! This fall I planted some bulbs (don't know the name!) and they have alread come up. As I watched them this weekend, I was in awe of how they moved in relation to the sun. During the night, they were closed, beautiful, but closed.

However, as the sun rose and began to shine fully on them, they began to transform, to literally open in order to soak up the sun!

This simple act of creation moving in response to its lifesource made me think of our lives and how we move in response to the Son, our Lifesource.  Read the following:

And we all, with unveiled faces contemplate the Lord's glory, are being transformed into his image with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit. --2 Corinthians 3:18

I love the imagery in the words of this passage!  Do you daily come before God with an unveiled face, opening up like my flower to soak up all the glory He has to pour down on you?  Do you stand before Him and get real. No more fronts, no more lies, no more striving to be something - just openly and completely who you are. Come to Him in prayer and open up.  When you do, you will begin to see a transformation in your life.  You will become a living reflection of His Spirit and His glory!

Oswald Chambers wrote beautifully on this:

The most important rule for us is to concentrate on keeping our lives open to God.  Let everything else including work, clothes, and food be set aside.  They busyness of things obscures our concentration on God.  We must maintain a position of beholding Him, keeping our lives completely spiritual through and through. --My Utmost for His Highest, January 23

Let everything else fall away for those few moment when you can stop and smell the flowers, and then mimick their response, opening yourself up to your Creator!

Sisterhood

Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life. --Mark Twain

Oh, how I agree with this statement! Add a cup of coffee and your babies and you've got near-heaven! We all need a little bit of down-time and enjoyment from our busy everyday lives.  That is one of the best things about having girlfriends!

Why spend time with (godly) girlfriends:
1) It takes your mind off of the stresses and burdens of your daily life
2) You can share your feelings with someone who is most likely going through the very same things
3) You can get an encouraging word or inspiration
4)  Laughter is the best medicine!
5)  We all need someone to lean on when times get tough

I believe that having godly friends and devoting time to them is a very important thing that women must do.  It is one of the tools that God uses to Fill our Cup! Even King David had Jonathan as his best friend. We all need that person that is outside of the family circle.  Please be very careful how you choose this person or persons. 

The righteous choose their friends carefully, but the way of the wicked leads them astray. --Proverbs 12:26

One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is one who sticks closer than a brother. --Proverbs 18:24

There are many other passages in the Bible about choosing good friends and "godly counsel."  We need our sisters in Christ beside us.  I know you are busy enough, dear sister, with the chores and things you must accomplish each day!  But I encourage you to make time-outs a priority: time-outs for date night with hubby; time-outs for family night; and time-outs for some sisterhood.

Pizza, Anyone?

When I was in college, I would get really nervous during finals. Even though I had done well the whole semester, I would have a nervous breakdown during this time of year! Every time, I would call my mom and she would reassure me and calm me. You know that mom-phrasology that you never forget? Well, there was one phrase my mom always told me when I would get overwhelmed:

You can only eat a pizza one bite at a time.

What she meant was, if you try to take on everything at once, there's no way you can handle it and you will completely overwhelm yourself. When we are overwhelmed we must focus on one task at a time instead of trying to figure out the whole big picture! God is the only one who can understand the whole picture. 
My pastor growing up told me one time that our lives were like a giant, beautiful tapestry. God sees the top, all the colors and patterns and the beautiful picture our lives create. We see the bottom, the messy tangle of loose strings and seemingly unorganized knots and threads. We need to quit trying to understand it all or do it all and just take each thing as it comes, one step at a time. Jesus had similar advice when He said,

Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. - Matthew 6:34

God wants us to be organized. He placed us in our homes to care for it, to care for our children, to create a safe-haven. There is a difference, however, between being organized and worrying over things. What is it that you need to do right now? Laundry? Write a letter? Play outside with your kids? Make dinner? Then do it! Do it to the best of your ability and don't worry what isn't getting done or about tomorrow's agenda, or next week's! God has a plan for everything and He will make sure it all turns out just perfectly if you have trust in Him. One thing at a time - one big ol' bite of that cheesy pizza at a time!

Empty Cup?

If you are anything like me, then you have a knack for getting yourself over committed. This is the quick path to burn-out in your home and ministry. If you are pouring out of your cup faster than you are pouring into it, then there will be nothing left to pour out to others.
This has been happening to me lately. If you are experiencing similar things, then maybe it is time to make some adjustments. It means that something has to go. This can be a difficult decision to make, especially if your life is filled with Good things. But we need to remember that just because we are doing Good things does not mean that those are the things that we should be doing.  Take time to sit down, make a list of your priorities, and then cut back from the bottom. You may not need to stop doing whatever it is entirely, but to adjust your time spent on that particular thing. Or you may need to make a clean break.

Have you ever read Alice in Wonderland? It is one of my favorites. In Chapter 3 we find the Caucus Race. All the creatures are running in circles faster, and faster, but no one reaches the finish line. If this is us, then we need to break the cycle!

There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the sun. - Ecclesiastes 3:1

There is time to let go, and if it is your time, then be strong and know that you are choosing the best things in life over everything else. That is how we walk in God's will for our life.

The Unforgiving Minute

Today is the last day of our topic on Rudyard Kipling's If. I hope you have enjoyed it so far and that his poetic look at the realities of life inspire you as they do me! Today's focus is one of my favorites!

If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,

One of my greatest fears in life is that I will get to the end of it and feel like I have wasted it. My goal in life is to live a life that I will never regret. I don't see a life without regret as one without mistakes; I see it as one that was not wasted. I want to reach for the stars! I am sure that this is a desire in most of our hearts. Kipling addresses this desire in this one stanza - "to fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds' worth of distance run" means that not one second was wasted!

I believe that one of the reasons that women feel burdened instead of busy is because we feel we are wasting our precious moments on things like dishes, laundry, work, and that we will look back and have missed the important things and have regret. I have formed the following from my own pursuits to live a life without regret, and I hope they will be a helpful inspiration for you!

Ways to fill the unforgiving minute and live a life without regret:

1) Make a list of your priorities - the things that you want to see you've done by the time you reach the end (whenever that may be!)  For me it is simply to have captured every moment possible of memories with my children, to have loved my husband to the greatest of my abilities and found in him my best of friends (important for when my babies grow up!), to have used my time and efforts in ways that will further God's kingdom and either lead people to Christ or help them to grow in their Christian maturity so that they can lead others to Christ. For me, that's it! You may have more!

2) When those moments arise, choose your priorities over other things. Is it a beautiful day to spend outside playing and you only have an hour before work? You have two choices - dishes or play with kids. Go play with those babies! Dishes can wait! What I have learned is that no one really cares except me! So I need to put aside my perfectionism in order to fill that minute with 60 seconds worth of distance toward my life goals!
Do you have to work outside of the home or is it a choice you make so that you can have more money to spend on nicer things? Is having nicer things one of your priorities? If it isn't, reevaluate! If you have to work, then you need to be extra thoughtful about how you fill your minutes outside work! Choose your priorities - always.

3) Get rid of Waste! We all need rest and down-time. However, if you are wasting the time that you could be building memories or making a difference in the world by watching TV, playing on the Internet, messing around with hobbies, then you need to set those things aside. Need a break? That's OK! Set a time limit for yourself (i.e. I will watch this show and then get back to work; I will check my email and Facebook for 15 minutes and then go see what my kids are up to).

4) Don't burden yourself with expectations that you can't live up to. Live your life! Feel free to enjoy it! Reach for your goals, but don't be tied down by them (see some of the earlier posts!) SMILE! When things don't get done or don't go right, just shrug it off and keep on!

5) Definitely not the least important - spend time in prayer and study of God's Word. God can take you to new heights in your life if you spend the time to build that relationship with Him! Take the time to get to know Him, who He is and the plans He has for you. If you live a life saturated in Christ, I can guarantee that in the end, you will not have regrets!

I hope that this will encourage you today to take every opportunity to fill your unforgiving minute in a way that will make your life something beautiful to look back on!

Don't Deal in Lies

Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hate. - Rudyard Kipling's "If"

One of the reasons that Christian women often feel so burdened down is because we put so much pressure on ourselves with unreal expectations.  The world itself is constantly dealing out lies to women about how they should look, act, shop, dress, work, parent, even think, through tv, magazines, ads, books, and even other women.  Women, even young teens, are pressured to give themselves away.
Christian women can be told even more lies...We are expected to be all of the above, while being supermom, having a perfect looking home, having personal Bible study and prayer time, attending and volunteering for all church events, pleasing our husband all the time, and strictly adhering to the church's standard of behavior.  Oftentimes we simply label this perfect model of a woman "The Proverbs 31 Woman."
THIS is being lied about and dealing in lies.  THIS causes us to give way to hate...ourselves. THIS is what causes us to lose the joy of a life found in Christ.  THIS is what burdens us down, enslaving us to Satan's lies.
So how do we see these lies for what they are?  We learn who it is we serve and what His expectations of us are, and we don't worry about anyone else's opinion.  "Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." John 8:32  All throughout the New Testament we see that Christ came to offer us freedom.  We are set free in order to live a life for him without burden.  So about these lies?  Here is the basics of what God asks of His women:

Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good.  Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God. Titus 2:3-5

So what are we to do? 
1) Watch that our behavior is positive (reverent, not slanderers, not drunkards, self-controlled, pure, kind). 
2) Love our family.  It does not give a criteria of what we must accomplish each day for our husbands and children, nor does it give the 5 steps to have the perfect child.  It simply says to love them.  How easy is that?
3)  Be busy at home.  What?!  Yes! The word busy was used! However, if you notice, there is no indication as to what type of home you should have, how it should be decorated, how clean it should be, nor how many cute pinterest ideas you have incorporated into your hall closet!  It just says to be busy at home.  This opens up the doors for you to use that creativity that God gave you to create the living space for your family to fit your family.  It opens the doors for you to do what needs doing and not worry about what doesn't get done.  God doesn't expect you to have everything done each day; He expects you to be busy working on it.  As I type, I have 3 baskets of laundry lying on my bedroom floor waiting for me to fold them.  Are my kids still alive?  Yes.  Is my family still functioning with my laundry on the floor, unfolded?  Yes.  Should I have stayed up until midnight last night folding it?  No.  God doesn't want a worn out, sleep-deprived version of you.  He wants you at your best!  So take the time needed to rest, without feeling guilty for what isn't done.  Then, when the day begins again and it is time to work, be busy at home (not on facebook or the other wonderful, mind-sucking sites there are!).
4) Be subject to your husband.  As much as we would love to deny it or ignore it, God wants us to let our husbands be the head of the household.  Does that mean that you are just a slave to him and that it doesn't matter what your opinion is on things?  Not if you are in a godly, loving marriage.  It simply means that God will hold your husband accountable for the things that go on in your family.  It means that it is your husband's job to manage everything.  In our family, I do the planning and the organizing and the finances!  I do these things because my husband asks me to because he knows that God has gifted me in those areas.  Yet, I always make sure to tell him exactly what I have going on - approve it with him, in a manner of speaking.  Allow your husband to be responsible for that which God will hold him responsible. 

So today, my dear sister, don't deal in lies, and don't give way to hatred.  Live a life of freedom and truth...and love!

It is for freedom that Christ has set us free.  Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. Galatians 5:1 

If You Can Keep Your Head

Sometimes it is astonishing to consider what a crazy world we live in, full of chaos and darkness.  The Good News is, there IS hope in this darkness and we are supposed to deliver it!
This week we are discussing what our lives would be like If Busy Didn't Mean Burdened.  Our inspiration comes from Rudyard Kipling's poem If.  Here's the first stanza:

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you.
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowances for their doubting too.

Keep your head when all about you are losing yours!  Yes, this world is a crazy place and sometimes we feel like we are going to go crazy with all the responsibilities and situations that life throws at us.  But we must keep our heads; we must keep focused on our purpose - to shine the light of Jesus into this darkness.

Trust yourself when all men doubt you.  If you are a woman on fire and passionately in love with Jesus Christ, then there WILL be those that doubt you.  Be confident, however, that if your focus is where it should be and you are following the call given to you by our Savior, then you can trust yourself.  We should be able to exeplify what Paul said in 2 Corinthians 5:13:

If we are "out of our mind," as some say, it is for God; if we are in our right mind, it is for you.

We should be perceived as Crazy if it is for God, but we must be the voice of reason and sanity to those that are seeking Him. 

What follows this realization then, is that we make allowances for their doubting too. One of the hardest parts of being a Christian for me is to relate to those that have not had the awe-inspiring, 'mountain-top' experiences that I have had, those whose acceptance of Christ does not move forward into a crazy, love-driven relationship with Him. I don't understand how they can be exposed to Him and not find themselves swept away by Him.  But we have to make allowances for those people.  We have to share those experiences with them, draw them into love with Christ by being open and revealing about our love of Him.  We can't expect everyone to be in the same place as we are or to have had the same revelations that we have had about him.

My dear sister, I pray for you today that you may trust yourself enough to let yourself fall head-long into love with Christ.  Allow Him to give you what you need to Keep Your Head!

If Busy Didn't Mean Burdened

So often women feel burdened and weighed down by their business. Our lives don't have to be that way!  In fact, when I looked up "burden" on Biblegateway.com, there were 49 results!  Clearly, being burdened is a human plague!  But this is what Christ said,

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. ²⁹ Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls." Matt. 11:28-29 (NIV)

So how do we do all the things that God has clearly called us to do (being a mother, wife, working to support our children, teaching our children, caring for the home, ministering to others) without feeling burdened?  The number one way is to allow Christ to fill us.  The only way that we are able to do any of the things we do is by the overflow of our hearts.  He can fill us through prayer, meditation, encouragement of others and time spent in His Word.  If we are able to do this, then suddenly our business doesn't mean burdened and we can lead the joyful life that Christ has called us to!
Another source of inspiration for me is the poem "If" by Rudyard Kipling.  I would like to take the next week or so to break this poem down into pieces and see what insight we can gain into our own lives!

IF, by Rudyard Kipling

IF you can keep your head when all about you Are losing theirs and blaming it on you, If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you, But make allowance for their doubting too; If you can wait and not be tired by waiting, Or being lied about, don't deal in lies, Or being hated, don't give way to hating, And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise: If you can dream - and not make dreams your master; If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim; If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster And treat those two impostors just the same; If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools, Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken, And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools: If you can make one heap of all your winnings And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss, And lose, and start again at your beginnings And never breathe a word about your loss; If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew To serve your turn long after they are gone, And so hold on when there is nothing in you Except the Will which says to them: 'Hold on!' If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue, ' Or walk with Kings - nor lose the common touch, if neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you, If all men count with you, but none too much; If you can fill the unforgiving minute With sixty seconds' worth of distance run, Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it, And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!